


PomPoms and Goggles

by wakemeup



Category: X Factor (US) RPF
Genre: AU, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-29
Updated: 2013-12-19
Packaged: 2017-12-21 16:51:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 32,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/902618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wakemeup/pseuds/wakemeup
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A high school AU where Camila is a swimmer and Lauren is a cheerleader.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Wednesday, December 12th 2013**

The young swimmer sits at the edge of the pool; her legs dangle in the water and she watches as small ripples are created every time she moves her feet. She's alone here, but only because the team got today off early. Coach was usually merciful during the month of December. Camila sighs and lifts her feet up.

 

Swimming was such a huge commitment. One she's done since she was five. She smiles as she remembers her dads proud face when she learned how to doggy paddle before anyone else in her class. By the time she was twelve she was spending almost everyday in the pool; and by the time she had turned fifteen and entered high school she had made varsity.

 

She liked swimming. Almost as much as she liked reading. Camila walks towards the locker room entrance when she hears the distinct 'click' of the pool entrance. She turns swiftly, almost losing her balance on the slick floor, and catches a girl, about her height slipping in. Her eyes are still adjusting due to the intake of chlorine. She glances at the clock and squints, four fifteen; no one is usually here around this time because swim practice normally runs to five thirty.

 

The girl hasn't quite noticed her yet, but immediately went to sit on the nearest bleacher to the deep end of the pool. She watched carefully as the girl took off her T-shirt and shorts and dipped her feet into the pool and then quickly jump in.

 

She waits, not a clue as to why, for the girl to resurface and when she does the girl is looking straight at her. Lauren Jauregui. Camila quickly tries to turn back around and loses balance. She falls flat on her ass. "Ow." She curses internally, despite being an above average swimmer she has no such luck on land. Her feet move and she automatically loses balance. Her mom swears she should've been a fish.

 

"Are you okay?" Camila looks up from her spot on the ground and realizes that the girl had came out of the water to help her.

 

"Mhm, sorry." She blushed and accepts the offered hand. When she's back on her two feet she leans back down to grab her towel. "Have fun." She doesn't know what else to say so she hastily walks out, trying very hard not to fall again.

 

\-------------

 

"Hi, no hija, you're early!" Sinuhe, Camila's mom, calls out when she walks into the living room.

 

"Coach called an end to practice early."

 

"That's nice, she's giving you all a break."

 

"Mhm." Camila nods and heads towards her kitchen. She grabs a few snacks and heads up to her room. She realizes how frigid it is quickly and wraps her blanket around herself. She for-gos the homework portion of her night and reaches the top of her bookshelf to grab Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Reading calms her. She isn’t close to many people at school, if anyone at all, but she doesn’t mind, she’d much rather get lost in the world these authors create for her.

 

\--------------

**Friday, December 14th 2013**

 

“Camila! Are you coming to the basketball game tonight?” Dinah shouts from the other side of the locker room. Camila contemplates it, “Probably not.”

 

“Well you don’t have much of a choice anymore, dawg. Coach says it’s mandatory for us to go because we’ve got to be ‘nice’ and attend other sports.” Camila rolls her eyes. She’d much rather not go to some basketball game. The jocks at the school are notoriously idiots, but she also doesn’t want to mess with coach.

 

“I guess I have no choice then, what time is it at?” Dinah checks her phone before looking up, “Six. Some of us were thinking about heading to Johny’s to grab some hot chocolate and stuff beforehand. You’re invited.” In most situations, well all of them really, she’d decline, but the weather in Pennsylvania continued to decline and she didn’t really want to drive the fifteen or so minutes home alone. She hesitates, Dinah interrupts her thoughts, “You know what? Forget it, I’m making you. It’s time we got to see the superstar outside of the pool.” Camila automatically blushes. She knows she’s got some sort of talent in the water, but she doesn’t like the attention.

 

Camila counts Dinah as the closest person she has to a friend. The girls have been on the team together since freshman year, now a year later, she’s the only person that actually been to Camila’s house and even gets along with her mom.

 

“Fine, let’s go then.” Camila smiles at the automatic scream from Dinah. The girl comes running over and grabs Camila’s hand and suddenly Camila’s being dragged down the hall and out the door. She tucks her hands into the pocket of her North Face and smiles at the girls who join them. “Y’all ready? We should like run to Johny’s!” Camila recognizes Ally. The girl is a senior, current co-captain of the team, tiny, but a strong diver for the Madison High Minutemen, which Camila thinks is awfully exclusive, women play sports too!

 

Dinah glances at Camila. She’s never seen Camila at any social event and she’s made it her own agenda to make sure that happens. Senior year is just around the corner and she’d like to see the relay anchor out with the rest of the team. “Finally!” Dinah screams as they enter Johny’s and immediately goes to the front to order four hot chocolates. “So, anyone else excited for the basketball game?” Jasmine, another diver asks.

 

“Troy’s starting tonight!” Ally says and Dinah rolls her eyes. “Your boytoy, thing, always starts.”

 

“Well it matters more because we’re playing the Clearview Crusaders.” Jasmine laughs as Ally defends her boyfriend.

 

“In any case, I’m more in it for Andy.” Jasmine says.

 

“The cheerleader?” Dinah asks.

 

“Yeah, I mean, he may not play basketball, but he is so fine.” Jasmine says it with absolute finality and Camila can’t even help but laugh at that.

 

“Camila, have you ever gone to one?” Ally asks politely. Dinah turns around to grab their drinks and hands them out. “No, but I guess I look forward to it.” Camila smiles warmly at Ally. The older girl is genuinely sweet.

 

They begin to walk back and gain free entry into the game because they’re on the swim team. Ally guides them all to the center of the bleachers and then runs off to go find Troy.

 

“I swear she’s like a lost puppy sometimes.”Jasmine says and rolls her eyes. “It’s kinda cute though, it’s been three years and they’re going to college together too.” Dinah replies.

 

“Well yeah, I gues---” Jasmine stops mid-sentence due to the paper that hit her arm. “What the hell?” She turns to the direction she thinks it was thrown from. “Jass!” She squeals and runs off down the bleachers to Andy, the cheerleader. The entire squad had just arrived.

 

“And then there was two.” Dinah says and Camila giggles a bit. Dinah continues to point out different players from Clearview’s team and Camila is stuck staring over at the cheerleading squad. “You shouldn’t stare, Mila.” The nickname caught off guard, she supposed it was nice though, to have that sort of familiarity with someone.

 

“I’m not.” Camila said and looked back at Dinah.

 

“It’s okay, I’d stare at her too. Actually, I think I do in fourth period french.” Camila turns her attention back to Lauren. The girl had caught her off guard in the pool those few days ago.

 

“Didn’t you used to be friends with her?”  Dinah asks.

 

“Uhm, yeah.” Camila shifts in her seat awkwardly.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**Friday, December 14th 2013 (Continued)**

“Uhm, yeah.” Camila shifts in her seat awkwardly.

  

“Should I not ask about it or? Cause dawg, Lauren’s like super chill and all.” Dinah nods her head as she says it and Camila finds herself looking back at Lauren. She takes in the green eyes, the cheerleading outfit, the pom poms, the stupid navy blue, red, and white that’s everywhere in the gym.

 

“Eh, it’s okay. Maybe another time, when we’re not surrounded by a hundred of our nosy peers and basketball isn’t the main event.” Dinah seems pleased with that and Camila just refocuses on the people on the court. When she does manage to look back down she catches Lauren looking up at her. She gives a small wave and smile and Camila just stares back. She’s not sure if she should respond, but with lack of a better judgement, she waves back.

 

She sees Lauren’s smile grow wider at that. The cheerleader is called away by Andy, who’s finally released Jasmine. “Okay, so Clearview apparently has a new player that’s like an all-star.” Ally says as she and Jasmine return to their seats.

 

“Shouldn’t you be rooting for your boyfriend instead of being such a debbie downer?” Dinah replies.

 

“He was freaking out.” Ally rolls her eyes. Sometimes her boyfriend is more dramatic than she is.

 

“In any case, Andy said that the whole squad was freaking out because Clearview’s cheerleading squad is apparently here too. They never bring them, but I guess this game is supposed to break our wins over them.” Jasmine bites her lip in nervous excitement. This game is really supposed to be the best of the season.

 

“Do I have to stay?” Camila whines to Dinah. She’s usually extremely stoic, but this is pushing her crowd limit. She hasn’t and doesn’t like to be around this many people.

 

“Yes, I’m making you. Get social, dawg.”

 

Camila watches as the game goes on. She watches the ball go up and down the court and fouls get called and what she thinks is probably a really exciting game pass by. Mostly she catches herself watching the cheerleaders on opposing sides try to out cheer one another. She finds it terribly amusing. She also finds Lauren screaming her lungs out and doing all sorts of acrobatics amusing. She doesn’t want to though, not after everything that’s happened to her, to them.

 

“Oh shit!” Dinah screams as the rest of the crowd is full of much the same Camila initially thought it was the game, but as she returned her attention to the crowd she looked and saw that the person at the top of the pyramid had fallen and the pyramid was now a pile of very embarrassed cheerleaders. She looked, urgently searching for a sign that the girl she didn’t want to think about was okay. The entire crowd waits as everyone gets back up. Alexa, someone from Camila’s calc class was laying haphazardly on Lauren. 

 

“Well, that blows. I’m glad our risks of getting injured like that are very low in the water.” Dinah says. Jasmine walks down to go make sure Andy’s okay. Halftime is called within a few minutes and Clearviews Cheerleaders take the center of the court to do the first half of the halftime show. Camila thinks it’s about time to ditch out now. She’s done what she’s supposed to and she’s tired. They’ve got a meet next Thursday and she still wants to shave a 0.002 seconds off her time. She needs to.

 

“I’m out. Thanks for the good time guys. I’ll see you on Monday.” Camila doesn’t leave any room for any of the girls to protest. She walks down the stairs, carefully, because she doesn’t want to make a scene by falling. She makes it down the bleachers without any incidents and walks straight out the side stairs. She turns a corner and  heads back to her swimming locker to grab her backpack.

 

She pulls out her phone to shoot her mom a quick text that she’ll be home in twenty.

 

“You shouldn’t text and walk. Multi-tasking is only for coordinated individuals.” Camila looks up immediately. Lauren doesn’t know why she said anything at all, but she had seen Camila twice within the past few days and she wants to make sure that continues. Boldy, she spoke those words, hoping that the younger girl didn’t take it harshly.

 

“Noted.” Camila’s only response. She stands; waiting. For what, she doesn’t know.

 

“This is the first game I’ve seen you at.” Lauren’s remark has Camila staring up at her. Lauren maintains the eye contact, refusing to be the one to let it go. “I’m not too fond of sports. =”

 

“You swim.”

 

“It’s different.” Camila doesn’t know if she could call the silence after that awkward, but she takes the moment to break eye contact and glance at Lauren fully. She immediately notices the ice on her elbow. Lauren swears she sees concern on Camila’s face.

 

“It’s just a bruise. I’ll heal, I’m a big girl.” The taller girl smirks, confidence gained at the fact that Camila has yet to leave. She observes the younger girl. She hasn’t allowed herself to see Camila and really look since it all happened. She didn’t want to really see Camila. It’d make things hurt more.

 

“That’s good.” Camila says with an air of finality. It worries Lauren and her confident facade shatters. She watches as Camila steps around her to move towards what she assumes are the lockers. She turns quickly. “It’s too bad we don’t cheer at swim meets!” Lauren smiles by the end of it because Camila’s step had faltered and that was enough of a sign.

 

\--------------------

 

“Where have you been?” Alexa screams at Lauren when she walks back into the gym three minutes later than meeting time. They were supposed to be up two minutes ago for their portion of the halftime show.

 

“Icing my wounds. You did crush me after all.” Lauren stuck her tongue out at the other girl. “You’re stupid. Get ready.” Lauren goes through the motions, energetically cheering and getting the Minutemen of Madison High pumped up for the second half of the game. Normally, she’d be absolutely 100% in it, but tonight all she could think about was Camila and her stupid glasses. Her glasses and her wavy hair that told Lauren she had probably not bothered to shower between practice and the game.

 

Lauren absolutely detests how much thought was just put into Karla Camila Cabello. Mostly she feels an overwhelming sense of regret.

 

“Good game boys!” Lauren looks over to hear Normani telling the boys that and high-fiving them. Lauren smiles and walks over.

 

“Mani, you’re seriously shaking their sweaty hands?” Lauren teases the other girls.

 

“Well, I like my men sweaty and muscular, and tall, and well, I think I just explained myself.” The girl gives Lauren a cheeky grin in response.

 

“Come over to my house?” Lauren nods her head ‘okay’ and walks back to the locker room to grab her things.

 

\--------------------

 

“You’re such a drag, Lo.” Normani throws the pillow at Lauren’s head. She observes the girl and wonders what the hell put her in such a somber mood. “You need to get laid.”

 

“Shut up.” Lauren laughs and throws the pillow back at her. “I’m just tired from the game.”

 

“Whatever, I saw you eyeing Alexa up.” Lauren gasps and fake tackles Normani. “You shouldn’t use ‘bi’ as a label. I can never keep up with who you want to date or fuck or whatever with. It’s confusing.”

“Oh my god, you’re awful.” Lauren enjoys the typical post game sleepovers with her best friend, but today she honestly wants to crawl into her own bed and sleep. To get her mind off of today.

"How's Arin?" Lauren asks. She'd much rather stay on topics that involve Normani and not herself.

 

"He's fine. By fine I mean still not mine." Normani replies. She immediately recognizes Lauren's uncomfortable shifting and, for lack if a better word, distraction.

 

"Is everything okay, Lo?"

 

"Why wouldn't it be?"

 

"I don't know." Normani knows that she's lying, but decides against pushing. She's not a pusher. If anyone was the 'chill' one in this friendship it was herself and not the green eyed cheerleader.

 

The rest of the night passes with them watching a broad category of movies and talking. Normani's mom comes in once to scold the girls for the loud music, but the night passes without much other than that. Lauren's restlessness makes Normani want to strangle her and suffocate her with the pillow; "I swear on your pompoms I will strangle you and kill you with your spirit stick if you don't lay still."

 

"Sorry!" Lauren turns over in the bed and shuts her eyes tight. She looks at her phone, three am. Holy hell. She thinks about her junior year, almost half way over. She thinks about everything to distract herself from that one thing. Three forty five. She sighs.

 

"Stop sighing too. Actually, please be so kind as to stop breathing."

 

"Shut up, you suck."

 

Normani props herself up on her elbow. Looking over at Lauren. "Was it the cookies? I'm never giving you cookies like that late again."

 

Silence. Lauren allows the silence to envelope them. She stares at the wall in front of her."I'm glad we've been friends for so long, Mani."

 

Normani cracks her eyes open, barely awake. She registers the seriousness in her best friends tone. "You're getting sentimental on me, Lo." She smiles. "I'm glad we have too."

 

Lauren tucks into sleep then. Shuts her eyes tight and thinks of nothing at all she can and clearing her dad of every single what if she'd imagined over the past few hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please message me on Tumblr (heartsbeattho) if you like it or wanna suggest something. I have chapter three ready. Let me know if you want it!


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Tuesday, December 18th 2013**

 

"MILA, c'mon!" Ally is screaming and rooting as Camila swims against Danielle. Coach had made a 'mock' relay. Mixing up second and first strings. Camila and Danielle were both extraordinary anchors.

 

"I swear if you don't win this Camila I'm going to burn all of your things in your locker!" Dinah screams. Dinah began the race and she's such a sore loser.

 

"Dinah!" Coach screams at the girls and Dinah doesn't even look apologetic. "YES!" Jasmine yells as Camila taps the end of the pool first.

 

"Suck it!" Dinah yells to Christina who began the opposing teams race. Christina just laughs.

 

"Cabello!" Camila looks over to coach and pulls herself from the water to talk to her.

 

"Yeah, coach?" She's pulled into a hug before she can even blink and see got no idea what she's done. "You just shaved 0.002 off your time!" Camila's eyes widen almost comically and she's hugging coach back fiercely. "Superstar shaved more time off!" Dinah announces to everyone and the team is group hugging and Camila hasn't really felt this much support well ever. She's known that her team, the swim team is a close knit family, but now she's allowed herself to feel like she's part of it.

 

"We're going to crush Clearview and Wakefield Thursday!" Jasmine is screaming and the whole team is beyond ecstatic. Camila laughs at the boys jumping into the pool and she's surprised that coach is actually as happy as the rest of them. She glances over at the clock; five forty. Shit, she thinks. She's going to be late for dinner at this rate.

 

She speeds through her post practice routine and drives home as fast and safe as she can. "Sorry!" She yells as she runs into the house and upstairs to drop her bags before running down the stairs, "Karla don't run!" As her mother says it she's falling down the last two steps.

 

"You're seventeen and you can't walk down the stairs? I wonder how on Earth you're an athlete." Camila looks up and sees her father there waiting for her. She jumps up and hugs him tightly. "You're back!"

 

"Of course, Karla. Wouldn't miss Thursday for the world." Her father had been away for business more often than not, but Camila couldn't help wish that he was home more often. Even after everything with Sofi. The thought of it all makes her uneasy. Now that he is home, and is even attending the swim meet for the first time since freshman year she's overly giddy.

 

"Ohmygosh. Yes!" The rest of the night is her bouncing around and talking excitedly to her parents about the meet on Thursday.

 

\------------------

 

 **Wednesday, December 19th 2013**  

 

Lauren’s a pretty confident person. She’s been a cheerleader since freshman year, the popularity is a plus. She doesn’t like to be told no anymore. She’s not a mean girl, but she tends to be ‘intense’ and people are intimidated by that characteristic.

So when she decided on Monday after fourth period, when she overheard that girl Dinah in her french class talking to someone about their meet this coming Thursday. The swim team has always been a pretty popular thing, even as of late, with basketball winning Madison High’s moral has been increasing. Lauren can’t say she hates it. When she was eavesdropping (because really, she knows french well enough to not care, it’s nice being trilingual) she also heard Dinah mention that Camila was anchoring again and that she was probably going to be what the team needed to take the Relay. Lauren smiled at that.

 

She knew that if Camila knew people trusted her so much she’d probably be bashful and entirely too humble. She had frowned to herself when she realized how much she was thinking about the girl again.

 

Within a few hours, by the end of the school day really, Lauren was thinking of a plan. She wanted Camila back in her life again. It was that simple to her. In her honest opinion, she didn’t understand why or how they had grown apart, but she had an inkling that it had to do with her cheerleading so much. In any case, she didn’t care why, but nearly two years being apart was a mistake. A mistake she wanted to amend.

 

Lauren realizes how fast Thursday’s approaching. She needed to talk to Alexa, Normani, and the rest of the cheer-squad. Alexa, who was a senior and captain would be her go-to, but first, she needed Normani on her side.

 

She grabs her phone and locates Normani’s number in her phone; ‘Favorite Diva’ it was listed as. She smiles as she remembers how she met Normani at Cheer-camp the summer before freshman year. The girl was a pain in her ass from the start, but she can’t say she hates it. With that annoyance and the diva attitude came a loyalty that Lauren knew was reserved for special people. She texts Normani; ‘meet me by your locker after school?’ she got an immediate response of ‘sure’ and proceeded to plan for the rest of the day. She didn’t care much for school work.

 

“So I hope you texted me to come here because you want to profess your love for me.” Normani smiles and dramatically flips her hair. Lauren laughs and leans against the locker.

 

“No, but I do need to ask you a favor.”

 

“Fine, but you should know they come at a high cost.”

 

“It’s been three years and I can tell you that you’ve never charged.”

 

“Whatever, out with it.” Normani looks at her nails and pretends to be ‘bored.’

 

Lauren turns so that she’s facing Normani. “I need you to help me get Alexa to talk to coach about tomorrow’s swim meet.” Her best friend quirks an eyebrow up and she smiles.

\------------------

 

**Thursday, December 20th 2013**

 

“Everyone make sure to make it back here tonight for the last swim meet before break!” Camila rolls her eyes at the cheery announcement. It’s funny because as excited as she is, she doesn’t want to get siked out of it.

 

“Caaaaameeeeeelaaaaaa!” Camila turns around to look at Dinah calling her from the opposite end of the hall. She smiles and waves, waiting for Dinah to come running towards her. “Are you pumped?” Camila laughs at Dinah’s enthusiasm. “Yeah, actually, my dad’s coming to this one.”

 

“Really? I think I saw him in like freshman year.”

 

“Yeah, I’ll introduce you all later.” They walk off to lunch together. Before, Camila had sat with the swim team and she continued to do that even now, but today the excitement could be felt.

 

By the time the last bell rang the school could recognize the entire swim team running towards the pool. People cheered and high-fived them all and Camila blushed the entire time. 

 

“Camila, take Dinah, Kelly, and Ash to stretch.” Camila nodded and gathered the girls to prep for their 200 meter relay. She nervously watched as people entered the pool and her teammates begin stretching. She watched as the other two teams prepped as well. Wakefield’s green a stark contrast to Clearviews yellow and Madison’s  blue and red. She sighed and put her goggles on to swim one test lap with the girls.

 

The typical order of a meet alternates between the men’s and women’s events. In most cases the 200 meter relay was first, but today, they would have it last because it was a Wakefield tradition. (Camila didn’t understand why they had to abide by any elses rules, but whatever).

 

Coach called them all out of the pool to settle and wait for their turns. Ten minutes before the meet starts she looks up to see the bleachers a floor up crowded with people. She catches her parents and waves up at them excitedly. She turns around to talk to Dinah about Clearview’s swimmers.

 

“We’re gonna win right?”

 

“Duh, and you’re going to shave your time just like you did in practice.”

 

“Are you nervous at all?”

 

“Me? Hah n---Holy shit.” Dinah says as she looks above Camila. The shorter girl whips her head around to look at what Dinah cursed at and her jaw just drops open.

 

There, sitting on the bleachers with everyone else, is the entirety of the cheerleading team. Holy shit, was right. “What are they doing here?!” Camila practically yells to Dinah as she watches Lauren find a seat next to Normani.

 

“How am I supposed to know? It’s not like they can really cheer here!”

\--------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah. It's time to get to the real stuff. Chapter four starts off the real dialogue and catapults the girls into emotional wrecks. Just kidding, kind of. Message me on tumblr heartsbeattho and leave me something to think about! Tell me what you think happened to them or just come say hello! (Kudos are appreciated!)


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**Thursday, December 20th 2013 (continued)**

 

“Ally you’re up first!” Coach tells Ally and the girl steps up onto the board. She takes a deep breath. Camila and Dinah are standing on their seats and watching as the whistle is blown and Ally’s body cuts through the water cleanly.

 

“She’s so tiny, but she’s damn good at the butterfly.” Jasmine says.

 

“She’s gonna win, GUYS SHE’S GOT ONE MORE LAP!” Dinah screams and the team is cheering loudly as Ally rounds her last lap.

 

Applause thunders through as Ally breaks through the surface of the water with an enormous smile on her face. “First win! Keep it up minutemen!” Camila looks up at the bleachers to see that Normani has yelled that. She looks over and sees her mom and dad clapping and she focuses her gaze on Lauren.

 

The girl is looking straight at Camila again, like the previous week at the basketball game. Camila steadies her gaze and looks back at the the green eyes. Camila waits for Lauren to break it. She wonders if the girl is here because of her previous comment. _“It’s too bad we don’t cheer at swim meets!”_

 

“Let’s go Camila.” Dinah drags Camila off to stretch. They’re the closing event in about ten minutes.

 

“Focus, okay?” Camila nods at Kelly’s words and she begins to stretch her back and shoulders. “We got this, just focus and we can beat them. If we take this last event we’ll win overall.” All of the girls nod. Before she knows it Dinah’s starting the relay off and the girls are cheering. Camila’s never nervous about these things. She’s always calm when it comes to swimming, but she’s a bit shaky and she wants to say it’s her parents fault, but she’s not so sure if that’s true.

 

“Camila get ready!” Camila nods and adjusts her goggles. She observes the two lanes next to her and realizes that Ash is neck to neck with the two other teams. It’s up to her to finish this through.

 

She dives into the water as soon as Ash touches the rim and she kicks her back leg and focuses on inhaling air and exhaling. Every time she dips her head to the side she sees the top of a yellow cap and realizes she’s ahead of Clearview. She pushes harder and faster and by the time she gets to her last lap her muscles are aching. She touches the edge of the pool first and immediately dips her head up to look at her coach.

 

Everyone’s cheering and yelling her name and she did it. She climbs up from the pool and Dinah’s arms immediately wrap her into a tight hug. She shaved that same 0.002 off as she did in practice so now it’ll go on her record. She smiles and hugs Dinah back.

 

The medals and awards are given out and by nine the thing is over. She heads out the pool area and into the locker room.

 

As she finishes her shower the locker room is pretty much clear. It’s a school night after all. She checks her phone to see that her mom and dad said they were headed to the hospital now. She texted back a quick ‘okay’ and got her things together to head over to meet them.

 

\-----------------

 

“So you had me help you convince Alexa to convince coach to come to this swim meet, not to cheer, but to be fans?” Normani quirks an eyebrow at Lauren and is far too amused by all of this. She gazes over at the pool to see Ally hoping out with a wide grin on her face. They won the first event. Lauren literally swore she’d talk to Arin for her and promised to make her Caramel Nutella brownies if she helped and then swore to Alexa she’d wash her car. She probably offered up more than she ever has in her life to get the cheer team to come to this meet and Normani wants to know why. She wants to know why the hell Lauren’s jumping through hoops.

 

“So what?” Lauren shrugs at her. She looks around and recognizes the Cabello family. Her and Camila had been friends for about two years before it all stopped. They had met at the beginning of seventh grade and had just hit it off. She recognizes Sinuhe and Alejandro, but curiously wonders where Sofi is. She assumes the younger girl had other things to do. Normani sees Lauren staring at the couple at the end of the bleachers. They look too familiar to her. She can’t place it.

 

“Who exactly are you here for?” Normani says, grabbing Lauren’s attention.” Lauren stares down at the pool. Spotting Camila she finds the girl laughing with Dinah about something. “That one.” She points at the brown eyed swimmer.

 

“Camila?” Normani’s eyebrow shoots up at that. She watches as Lauren nods in  confirmation.

 

“Are you crushing on her?” Lauren doesn’t look at Normani, she watches as the younger girl lines up for the relay. She contemplates that question. Is she? Two years ago she would’ve had told Normani that no she wasn’t at all because things were stupid and she didn’t know she was bi, but now she thinks about everything that’s occurred in the past week and how much Camila has on her mind, she doesn’t really know.

 

“I can’t say. I just need her back in my life.” Normani nods, picking up on the ‘back’, wondering if Lauren wants to or needs to say more. They refocus on the race at hand. Camila is prepping to jump into the pool and as she does everyone is cheering. The girls stand up and cheer as well and before they know it Camila is touching the pool and clambering up only to be engulfed in hugs.

 

“I can see why you like her, even in in a speedo and cap she’s got a nice bod.” Normani says trying to get Lauren to laugh. The other girl doesn’t.

 

\----------------

 

**Friday, December 21st 2013**

 

“Holy hell. I don’t know if it’s the fact that we’re having the best season ever in like all of our winter sports or if it’s the fact that we get off for break in about about--” Dinah glances at the clock above the cafeteria walls. “Four freaking hours, but everyone needs to calm the hell down.” Dinah’s practically yelling it to the table of girls and everyone laughs at the way the cafeteria is literally far too loud.

 

“Let’s chalk it up to our win.” Jasmine says and Danielle nods.

 

“What’s everyone doing over break?” Ally asks politely. Everyone shouts different things and Camila is left chewing her food distractedly. She contemplates telling Dinah about what she’s doing later. Even about asking her if she’d like to come along. She’s at a calm place now. A place where she doesn’t feel like she used to. But, she also doesn’t want to subject Dinah to it. Oh well, she thinks, she needs to be done with this school day now. She’s got places to be.

 

\----------------------

 

“Alexa, Normani!”

 

“What Lauren?” Alex snaps her head to the side and gives Lauren an undoubtedly annoyed look. “Don’t give me that look, Lex. I have your brownies.” Alexa jumped up from her seat then. She grabs the container in Lauren’s hands and immediately tears open the box and grabs one before passing it to Normani. The girls sigh in contentment. Lauren thinks that she should just give food to people now, maybe then she’ll always get her way.

 

A few minutes pass before the girls decide to actually talk to her. “Okay, that was totally worth it. Make those more often.” Normani says. Lauren laughs at her. She rarely makes them because it’s such a hassle.

 

“Well, do more things for me and I might.” She replies.

 

“One thing, why’d you want to go so badly?” Alex asks the younger girl. It had been bugging her since yesterday considering Lauren rarely needed a posse to go anywhere. She always thought of Lauren as a confident person.

 

“Just wanted to show support.” Lauren smiles. Normani is dragging her outside before she knows it and she’s wondering what she did wrong.

 

“Mani!” Lauren says as she tugs her hand out of the girl’s grasp.

 

“Okay, so I gave you a night to think about it because y’know. I thought about you yesterday and I know we’ve only been friends since freshman year---” Lauren cuts her off “That doesn’t mean anything! You’re my best friend.” Normani rolls her eyes. “As flattering as that is, shut up.” Lauren purses her lips together as if signalling her to go on.

 

“You said ‘back’ in your life and last night I was on the phone with Arin and he had asked me what I did that day blah blah blah and I told him that I went to the swim meet with you.” She pauses to catch her breath. Her best friend looking increasingly annoyed.

 

“So I told him you wanted to go see Camila cause that’s no big deal because she’s a hot shot swimmer and stuff. And he mentions that you guys were close in middle school, but that it was odd to him that you guys stopped. He said he went to middle school with you guys and at some point you were inseperable.” Normani waits now, for Lauren to gather that and say something. She’s beyond curious at this point and She had an inkling that Lauren needed to say something. That and Normani was curious by nature. She couldn’t help asking questions.

 

“I don’t know.” Lauren shrugs. She thought about it all of last night too. She hasn’t slept that much, that’s why she baked the brownies. Kept her mind off things.

 

“You don’t know what?”

 

“I don’t know what happened.”

 

“Oh.” Normani furrows her eyebrows. She can clearly see that the nonchalant look Lauren’s exuding is far from her real emotions. She decides to push. Sometimes stubborn people need to be pushed. “What was yesterday? What were you thinking?”

 

“I wasn’t, to be honest. I was just there and I saw her parents and I just am determined to get her back in my life. I realized a week ago, after I ran into her, that I missed her.”

 

“Those were her parents yesterday?” Normani thinks back to the couple at the end of the bleachers who had looked so familiar to her. It dawns on her quickly and she doesn’t know how it didn’t happen before. She would volunteer with her mom at the pediatric hospital back in her sophomore year.

 

“Yeah. Her sister wasn’t there though, I guess she was doing something else.” Normani turns to look at Lauren abruptly. “Her last name is Cabello, right?” Lauren nods.

 

“Well, fuck.” Normani’s eyes widen.

 

“What?” Lauren’s expression is curious.

 

“My mom works as a nurse in pediatrics. She’d mention a Cabello girl who had a form of cancer that’s hard on children. She’s in there every like half a year to fight it off again.” Lauren’s eyes widen and she’s sitting there in disbelief.

 

“Whe---” Lauren clears her throat. “When di-d this start?”

 

“I don’t know, the first time I remember my mom mentioning her specifically is a month or so after we got back from cheer camp freshman year." Conveniently enough the bell rings for next period and Lauren’s sitting there next to Normani outside the cafeteria in shock.

 

What the fuck? She thinks. She knows this is entirely too much. It’s too ‘tv-ish’ too unreal. These things don’t happen to people. It’s too harsh. Too much fiction to be realistic. Bad things don’t happen to good people.

 

\-------------------------

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Were you expecting that at all? (:
> 
>  
> 
> Okay, huge freaking shout out to the authors of Habit. Go read if you haven't, it's amazing. If you're not busy you should click on my username at the top (wakemeup) and read my other fics because you love me. 
> 
> Anyways, once again I'm a chapter ahead so 5 is done and ready to go. Review, let me know what you think.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**Friday, December 21st 2013 (Continued)**

 

Lauren, expectedly, skips the rest of the day. She goes to Johny’s and sits there for god knows how long trying to figure out what to think. Her thoughts are about as scattered as could be and she’s got things like Sofi and Sinuhe on her mind, but her thoughts quickly always redirect back to her friendship with Camila.

 

Her freshman year and the summer leading up to it had been a lot of things. Mostly, it was an adjustment. She remembers leaving Camila to go to camp where she met Normani. She hadn’t texted Camila a lot or called her because she had just been entirely too exhausted from the day to do anything other than sleep. By the time she came back the other girl was already too withdrawn and Lauren hadn’t bothered to push. She hadn’t bothered to do much of anything and her decision those two or so years ago are nothing more than regret. Regret, she comes to realizes, is worse than guilt or anything else.

 

She quickly gathers her things and checks the time on her phone. Swiping past the text messages from Normani that urgently are asking her where the hell she is and sees that it’s 2:35pm. She’s got about twenty minute before everyone is released from school for break. She grabs her things and runs to the car before she speeds back to school.

 

\----------------------------

 

Camila glances at her phone again. Last period calc was always such a drag to her. She loved math and was just too ahead in the syllabus to care at all. She stares at the analogue clock on the wall. The larger thinner hand moving and counting the seconds as they collapse together into minutes and staggering into tens and fifteens and it’s not nearly close enough to three o’clock. She needs to get out of here so she can go spend time her her entire family.

 

She draws waves onto her notebook and passes the time that way. Thinking about yesterday’s meet and Sofia and everything she doesn’t actually want to think about pops into her head. She figures there’s something psychological there.

 

She anxiously watches as the teacher drones on about formulas and the importance of remembering them on test and she’s so caught up in staring at Mr.Thomas’s horrible writing that the bell rings and she jumps a little in her seat. Camil gathers her things and walks swiftly to her locker to put her books away and grab her keys.

 

“Camila!” The girl snaps her head up in recognition of the voice that yelled her name and stares curiously at a flustered Lauren.

 

“Yeah?” She says because she doesn’t really think there’s anything else to say. Plus, she’s not one to ignore.

 

Lauren stands still intently staring at the other girl. She had left Johny’s with a determination that had been borne from understanding. She had driven here thinking that she’d be calm and collected and knew exactly what it was that she wanted to say.

 

Standing here now, Lauren doesn’t think any of that mattered. She doesn’t know if what she had planned to say was what she is supposed to say and standing here looking at Camila and looking at her like she---. Lauren shakers her head. She looks at Camila again, right into brown eyes that show confusion and nothing more.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Was all she could think to say and she says it, her voice cracking and her eyes still a bit red from crying at that diner. She wants to hold herself high. Wants to be angry at Camila instead of the anguish that regret has pulled over her own mind. She wants to  blame Camila for never telling her. Sofi was her sister too.

 

Camila can see the swell of emotions that are crossing Lauren’s face and she immediately knows that the cheerleader is talking about Sofi. Camila shuts her eyes tight. She can’t look at Lauren. She can’t look at her and feel what she felt all those years when she first found out about Sofi again. It’d be like looking in a mirror. Looking back in time to her broken self. Just today she had told herself she was settled. Sofi told her to be that way.

 

“Camz, please.” Camila opens her eyes slowly and doesn’t allow the tears that have gathered to fall. Not here, not like this. She hears Lauren’s use of her old nickname and remain silent. Not knowing precisely what to say to Lauren.

 

Lauren watches Camila. She says please, but doesn’t know for what. She doesn’t know what to do now. Camila’s practically a mute right now and Lauren’s fighting to keep herself steady.

 

“I’m sorry. I have---” She stutters through it, “I have to go.” Camila shuts her locker and walks past Lauren.

 

“Camila don’t walk to way from me now!” Lauren’s yelling and her voice is cracking and she’s about to make this entire thing a train wreck. She watches as Camila stops. Converses digging into the hard floor and hands fisted. “Don’t do this!” Camila turns around. Tear stained face and all.

 

“What did you want me to do?” Camila’s voice steadily rises. “What did you want me to say, Lauren?” She’s walking back towards Lauren now.

 

“I waited for your phone calls while you were away---” Camila knows it’s wrong to blame Lauren. Knows it’s entirely wrong to guilt her. “I tried to figure out what to say when you got back but I spent a month without you coping!” She’s screaming now and the tears are falling freely. Lauren’s face matches her own and she’s trying so hard not to run away. Lauren stares the other girl down and Camila’s beyond the point of regret. She’s had this in her for too long.

 

Camila’s deep breathe helps her to calm down a bit. “Sofi asked me not to cry anymore. Asked me not to be sad.” Lauren raises her hand up to try and wipe the tears away. She leans against the locker and presses her forehead against the cold metal. She tries to gather herself. Tries not to let the words Camila’s saying sink in.

 

“I’m late. I’ll see you around.” Camila says to Lauren before furiously wiping her tears and walking out of the school. She gets in the car and takes another deep breath, calming herself and thinking about seeing Sofi within a few minutes. She smiles at the small stuffed elephant sitting on her passenger seat. Sofia has one more chemo session and the doctor said she could be out of the hospital for Christmas Eve. This year has been better for her younger sister. Last year Sofi spent the entirety of December and January in the hospital.

 

\-------------------------

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thanks for reading. Kudos appreciated. Chapter 6 almost done. I may post it tonight. I don't know. Shout out to Habit and Not So Starstruck. Message me!


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**Saturday, December 22nd 2013**

 

“Camila are you heading over there now?” Sinuhe asks her daughter when she sees her grabbing some snacks from the kitchen. “Yeah, Mami, I got up early and I think she’d like some company when she gets up.” Camila replies. She didn’t really lie at all, it was more of an elaborated truth.

 

Camila didn't sleep last night. She laid awake in her bed after the long day and stared at her phone. Stared at the text Lauren had sent her after she had walked out. _"I'm coming to see her tomorrow. She was my sister too. Despite my mistakes I need to see her and I hope that I can start making it up to you too."_ Camila thought, after reading it countless times, that Lauren sounded as determined as the girl she knew all those years ago. That she was as determined as she was in seventh grade when they snuck into the high school pool at midnight just because.

 

The girl never replied to Lauren's text. Thinking that anything she could think of saying was just a formality. She knew that despite what she said Lauren had her mind set and nothing would change that. Camila wants to hate Lauren. She wants to tell her that no, Sofia wasn't her sister too. If Sofia was her sister too, Lauren would've never left like she did. But Camila knows blaming Lauren isn't justified. She knows that she never said a word and she should've.

 

Her head hurts from thinking about it all night. She knows that she'll be entering the pediatric ward and that when she walks down the colorfully painted hallway there's a chance of Lauren being there. She shakes her head. She'll deal with Lauren when the time comes.

 

Camila parks her car in the visitors garage and waves as she passes by the nurse and Mrs.Kordei. She turns the corner to Sofi's hallway and anxiously turns to open Sofi's door.

 

Sofi lays there on her side, per usual, sleeping soundly. No one else is in the room. Camila doesn't know if it's relief or disappointment that passes through her body.

 

She takes the seat next to Sofi's bed and looks at her younger sister. She traces her eyes over the contours of her sisters hollowed face and sees how exhausted the younger Cabello looks. A smile tugs at her lips; seeing that Sofi's has the stuffed elephant she lovingly named "elph" yesterday, tucked under her arm, head peaking out from underneath the blanket their mom had made for Sofi.

 

For a while, Camila had sat in this seat in the early mornings without her mom or dad here and just cried. She used to cry because it wasn't fair and sometimes she wished it was her because that's her younger sister and that's far from what reality should be. Camila sighs and smiles at how Sofi remains asleep despite the sun creeping through the curtains.

 

She grabs her backpack and opens it to grab the bagel she had brought from home and looks through the bag, pushing her various notebooks aside and grabbing the worn novel inside. She pulls the Great Gatsby out and opens it up to the bookmark. Ever since Sofi had seen the movie she said she wanted to read the book because it seemed like a good one. The glamour and the richness of the time. Camila knew Sofia was too exhausted these days to read it herself, so she'd read it to her. Even if she was asleep.

 

She began to read. So caught up in it herself. Thinking that, despite it being the tenth or so time she's read it herself, it always holds it's own meaning. Her head lifts up at the clicking of the door and she glances quickly at the clock, it’s already about eight thirty in the morning. As the door opens wider she doesn’t hope for anyone other than one of her parents, but standing there is Lauren.

 

Camila takes in the sight of the other girl; in skinny jeans and a Madison High Cheerleading sweatshirt. She notices that the girl is holding a small stuffed elephant and some flowers. Camila looks back up at her face, observing Lauren and waiting for her to say something. The silence seems to draw on for minutes, but Lauren catches herself standing there and closes the door shut before sitting down across from Camila, on the other side of Sofi’s bed.

 

“Hi.” Is all Lauren says to Camila, quietly, as to not wake Sofi up.

 

“Hi.” Is all Camila replies back with.

 

They both sit there in the moderately sized room with Sofia in between them. Camila doesn’t know if she should pick up the book and continue reading with Lauren here or just sit here---. It’s stupid, she decides quickly, to stop something just because the other girl is here. She picks the book back up and flips to where she had left off, but Lauren stops her. “Is that still your favorite book?”

 

“Yeah, it’s Sofi’s too.” Camila says without looking up.

“How is she?” Lauren’s tone softens and Camila has to look up at that. She looks straight into Lauren’s green eyes and searches for genuine care. She finds it immediately. “She’s better.”

 

Silence swallows them again. Lauren looking at Sofi’s small body in the bed and keeping her eyes away from Camila. She wants to break it, the silence, but this moment isn’t the right one and she wants to respect Sofi’s space. She hears as Camila begins reading another portion of the Great Gatsby and listens as well. She hasn’t heard Camila’s voice like this in too long.

 

Regret. The word echoes in her mind like a song she wants to forget and Lauren hates it more than she hates five am cheerleading practices. She’s caught up in thought like she was all night waiting for Camila to answer and now she’s here doing the same thing with the one girl she hadn’t stopped thinking about. She fixes her eyes on Camila and the book, now. Knowing the girl is more than likely to enraptured by the story to notice her gaze.

 

The nurse enters the room, Lauren glances at the clock, nine am. She checks Sofi’s vitals and chats with Camila about her sister before mentioning that Camila’s parents were at the nurses desk filling out some discharge papers for later today. Lauren watches as Camila smiles. Lauren feels a bit like an invader, like she’s not supposed to be witnessing Camila smile like that.

 

“Karla, we brought you some bre---Oh, Lauren!” Sinuhe says as she notices Lauren sitting in the other seat. She hands Camila a bag of food and checks on Sofi. Camila gets up and walks towards the door, giving her mom and dad a bit of privacy. Lauren follows suit.

 

She’s following Camila down the hallway and back out to the general lobby and she’s sitting down next to Camila without invitation. Before she knows precisely what she’s doing she’s asking Camila how she’s doing. Camila seems to huff and look up at Lauren with tired eyes.

 

“She’s being released today. Hopefully this time the cancer stays away.” It’s not sad, Lauren thinks, it’s more wishful thinking.

 

“That’s good.” It’s awkward and Lauren wants to make that whole thing stop because she needs things to be normal again.

 

“Are you okay though?”

 

“I’m okay.” Camila wants that to be the end of conversation. Lauren doesn’t want that, so she pushes forward. “I’m sorry.”

 

Camila can hear the sincerity and regret that seep into Lauren’s tone of voice and she wishes, once again, that she could hate Lauren. She doesn’t though. If it’s one thing she’s learned from her younger sister is that life’s too short.

 

“Forgiven.”

 

\---------------------------

 

Lauren spends most of the rest of the day there, only leaving for the bathroom and to call Normani to keep her updated. She informs her mom and dad through Taylor, that she’s at the hospitals with the Cabello. Her mom tries to come, but Lauren says that she’ll figure something out during break, when the two families can have dinner.

 

It’s just reaching six o’clock at night when Camila’s mom tells Camila that it’s time to head out. Sofi’s been in and out of sleep all day and at one point she woke up and recognized Lauren to hug her weakly before falling back asleep again.

 

Lauren thinks it’s small progress, because Camila smiled when that happened and they’ve been talking (although the talking is really just short conversation). She sticks around to prove her point and tells Sinuhe and Alejandro that she’ll drive Camila home before the other girl can protest. She also offers to stop by somewhere and buy the family some dinner so Sinuhe doesn’t have to cook. After arguing that she has enough money to the Cabello parents agree.

 

“You didn’t have to do all that, you know.” Camila says as she fidgets with her seat belt. “It’s fine, I wanna help somehow.” Lauren focuses her eyes on the road.

 

She wants to say more. Both girls do, but Lauren waits till they’re walking into some small Italian restaurant. She asks for a seat for two and Camila’s confused because she thought they were carrying out. “We can eat here and order something to go for your parents. It’ll be quick, I promise.” Lauren says. Camila just nods because they’re already sitting down.

 

They order a pizza to share and Camila staring at Lauren and Lauren’s looking everywhere besides the girl trying to muster up enough courage to say what she feels needs to be said. Camila beats her to it. “I’m sorry too. Sorry for not telling you anyways.”

 

“Don’t be. I never pushed and I just got too caught up in everything.” Lauren admits it without hesitation.

 

“I suppose this is us starting over?”

 

“If that’s what needs to happen, then yeah.” Lauren looks at the younger girl and remembers how Normani asked her if she had a crush on Camila. She said she didn’t know at the time. She doesn’t know if her thoughts are clouded by wanting to make amends or just the mess of it all. She doesn’t allow herself to think anymore about that.

 

The girls dig into the pizza and a slice in Lauren realizes that Camila still eats like she used to. “You still fold your pizza in half?”

 

“Yes. Don’t make fun of me.” Lauren scrunches her nose up. “It’s like folding it and having the grease come out the other side.”

 

“So what, pizza’s not pizza without grease, you fool.” Camila says as she takes another bite. “You haven’t changed one bit.” It slips out of Lauren’s mouth and Camila’s quick to catch it. She doesn’t say anything though. Instead, she smiles. There’s familiarity there that she hasn’t felt in awhile.

 

Camila realizes that the anxiety she felt twelve hours ago, when she was on her way to the hospital, completely juxtaposes how she feels now.

 

\-----------------------

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 7 can be posted tonight if you guys want. I'm going to start the path to them being together and y'know holiday fluff.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**Sunday, December 23rd 2013**

 

“Where are you going Lauren?” Clara Jauregui asks her daughter.

 

“I’m heading out to the mall, I have some more presents to get.”

 

“You’re going to run into a ton of people at the mall. It’s always packed this time of year.” Clara warns her daughter.

 

“I’m grabbing Camila and Sofi things.” Lauren says.

 

“That’s good. Why don’t you invite them to our New Years Eve Party?”

 

“I’ll do that when I see her later today, ma.” Lauren responds before opening the front door and trudging her way to the car. Pennsylvania weather has graced them all with a light blanket of snow on the ground.

 

As she drives through the neighborhood she wonders if Camila’s even woken up yet. Stopping at the light in front of the school on the way to the mall she decides it’d be better to surprise the two Cabello’s. She makes a sharp left and heads to their house. Parking in the driveway and knocking on the door to be greeted by Alejandro.

 

“Hi, Lauren.” He motions for her to go inside and she does. “I was wondering if I could take Camila dn Sofi out today?”

 

“I’m sure Camila will be up for it, but lets go upstairs and talk to Sofi.” Lauren nods and follows him carefully up the stairs. She walks into Sofia’s purple and pink room and smiles at the stuffed elephants that line the room. Sofia’s favorite animal.

 

“Sofi, baby.” Alejandro shakes his youngest daughter softly. Sofi opens her eyes groggily. “Lauren’s here, she asked if you and Karla wanted to go to the mall with her.” Sofi’s eyes widened comically, almost exactly like her sister, Lauren thinks.

 

“Mhm!” Sofi crawls out of bed and hugs Lauren. “I saw you yesterday!” Sofi says excitedly. The cheerleader smiles down at Sofi, recognizing how tired the young girl still must be and says, “I was there, but I wanted to spend more time with you. So get ready, okay?” Sofi nods her head as furiously as she possibly can and moves towards Alejandro.

 

“What’s the ruckus about?” Three pair of eyes turn around and to face the other Cabello girl. Alejandro laughs at his daughter onesie. Seventeen and still a child. He doesn’t mind it at all though. “Lauren offered to take you and Sofi out today. Sofi already said yes.” Alejandro, not at all aware of the ‘new’ start the girls have taken, assumes that Camila will be okay with it. He ushers the high schoolers out of Sofi’s room to help her get ready.

 

“Why’re you here?” Camila asks Lauren in the hallway, walking towards her room at the other end sleepily.

 

“What your dad said.” The girls enter Camila’s room. Lauren looking around curiously. The room hasn’t changed much, but she notices that Camila had added a second bookcase to house more of her favorites.

 

“Why?”

 

“I was going there anyways, to pick up some things and I just wanted to see you again.” Lauren knows it’s honest, she knows that Camila’s knows it’s honest and she wants to keep being honest. She doesn’t think anyone can regret honesty.

 

Camila turns her head to look back at the girl. She takes the comment in and continues on the conversation, her lips tugging up at the comment. “Well, who am I to deny you of the Cabello sisters?” Lauren laughs and Camila’s glad she’s hearing it again. She doesn’t want to admit she misses having someone around like this, but she knows that everyone craves company.

 

“Get out so I can get ready, then.” Camila says turning around to shove Lauren playfully out the door. Lauren attempts to hold her ground as Camila pushes her, but she laughs at what is probably hilarious scene.

 

“Fine!” Lauren gives in and waits downstairs for the two to come downstairs.

 

\----------------------

 

“Sofi, you can’t have that.” Camila says to Sofi as they’re walking around the mall and the younger girl is asking for almost everything she sees.

 

“But, I want it.” Sofi bats her eyelashes and Camila wishes she could give the girl everything she wants, but she knows that she can’t. Lauren eyes the toy Sofi was pointing at and makes a mental note for later. “How about I buy you some hot chocolate?” Lauren says to relieve Camila of the younger girl’s whining.

 

“Okay!” Sofi walks in between the two, holding both of their hands. The cheerleader sees that Sofi is slowing down and dragging her feet. They’ve been at the mall for only a half hour or so, but she knows that that must be exhausting for Sofi.

 

Camila looks at Lauren curiously when the other girl stops and leans down to whisper something into Sofi’s ear. The next thing she knows, Sofi’s letting go of her hand and she’s hopping onto Lauren’s back. “Horsey!” Sofi says as she links her arms around Lauren’s neck, tight.

 

Camila smiles at the sight. She takes her phone out to snap a picture. When she’s done they continue walking towards the food court at the mall. Camila thinks about what Lauren’s done in the past twenty four hours and thinks that it’s a bit unnecessary. Oddly enough, after she said she had forgiven Lauren, she felt as though she really had. By the time Lauren was dropping her off at the house with some food for her parents she felt like they really were being reacquainted. Camila chalks it up to actually not having any form of malicious grunge against the other girl.

 

“Camz, do you want any?” The nickname catches her off guard, but she lets it go.  

 

“I’m okay.” Lauren nods and orders the drink. By the team they get their drinks Sofi’s soundly asleep on Lauren’s back. “You should wake her up, she’ll fall off otherwise.” Camila says as they head towards the car.

 

“Nah, I’ll carry her till we get to the car.”

 

“Okay.” They walk in silence for a while, almost at the car when Lauren speaks up.

 

“How about I drop her off and we go somewhere?”

 

“Where?” Camila entertains the question, curious as to where Lauren will take her.

 

“I don’t know, anywhere?” Lauren remembers telling Camila she just really wanted to see her. It’s true and she wonder if Camila recognizes the weight of all of that. Then again, maybe Camila does and wants to make weightless. Things don’t have to be complicated.

 

“How about, we drop Sofi off and we get in my car and we go somewhere.” Camila says boldly. Perhaps Lauren had misjudged Camila. Yesterday night she was sure that Camila was still very much the same girl she was before freshman year. It was naive to think that things wouldn’t change, especially with everything that had happened to the small family.

 

“Are you taking the lead, Cabello?” Camila laughed at that, quieting down when she remembers that Sofi’s asleep in the back seat.

 

“I’m always in the lead. Have you seen my record?” Camila finally responds. It gets a good laugh out of Lauren and the ride back to the house is filled with back and forth bickering. Camila thinks that things are fitting together, maybe better than they did before.

 

Camila’s thoughts are overwhelming then and she doesn’t want to be the anchor today. She wants to find herself happy and Lauren’s done a great job already. She doesn’t regret her words yesterday. Shas has forgiven Lauren, but she asked to take the lead because she knows that things have to be done on both ends. Camila failed Lauren just as much as Lauren had Camila.

 

\-----------------------

 

“Where are we going?”

 

“I don’t really know to be honest.”

 

“You’re going to run out of gas and this is going to be a page out of a horror story I know it.”

 

“You’re still dramatic.”

 

“You’re still entirely too impulsive.”

 

“Well, it makes you feel alive doesn’t it?” Lauren doesn’t respond as quickly as she did with the other banter, but Camila’s words sink in. Lauren won’t lie. She won’t say that she spent every waking moment of the past few years thinking about Camila. She will say that she missed her at some points, but she followed the ‘out-of-sight, out-of-mind’ philosophy all too well. Her life was normal. She was a teenager, she went to parties, had sleepovers. Her closest friend was Normani and Lauren loved her and was completely loyal to her. Camila was different though, as is Normani. Camila, within the thirty two hours they’ve settled into this friendship(?) has brought something out in Lauren that she hadn’t even before.

 

“Lo?” Camila pokes the other girls side, eyes remaining on the road.

 

“Hmm?”

 

“I figured we’d just go to Johny’s?” Small town, only one semi-great diner where teens hang. Of course Johny’s.

 

“That’s unoriginal.”

 

“Deal with it Jauregui.” Lauren laughs as Camila walks in and finds a booth. They look around, it’s about lunch time so it’s a bit overpacked.

 

“Mila!” Camila’s body turns to face who was speaking and is only a little surprised to find Dinah, Ally, Troy and some girl Camila’s never seen before. “Hey, guys.” The group comes to a stop in front of the booth and Camila looks at Lauren apologetically. Although, Lauren doesn’t know why she’d apologize, it’s not as though she expected privacy (despite wanting it).

 

“Can we join you guys? It’s a bit packed and we sort of didn’t think ahead.” Ally asks politely. Camila looks at Lauren receiving a nod before saying okay. Thankfully, in some shape or another (Lauren’s not sure whether or not to be thankful anymore) Dinah moves aside so that Lauren can sit next to Camila.

 

“Everyone excited for Christmas?” Ally asks.

 

“Wait, weren’t you supposed to fly out by now?” Camila asks Ally.

 

“Change of plans, Christmas here with Try and New Years there with my family.”

 

“That’s too cute, get outta here.” Dinah says laughing at how Ally tugs Troy closer.

 

Lauren watches Camila’s profile carefully. She sees how Camila laughs with her friends and seems at ease, even if their time was interrupted. Lauren thinks that what Camila gained in the time they hadn’t been friends was a sort of independence. Camila can hold her own and that is something Lauren doesn’t regret. She’s glad that Camila can.

 

Lunch went by quick enough, it was interesting in Camila’s opinion. She had caught Lauren staring at her, at random times and Lauren rarely interacted. She had thought about asking the cheerleader what exactly it was that had her so occupied, but knew it wasn’t the time or place.

 

“That was nice. It’s only about three though, want to head somewhere else?” Camila offers.

 

“Yeah, how about we pick somewhere though.” Lauren suggests. Camila starts the car thinking about where they could go, but doesn’t come up with anywhere immediately.

 

“The old lake by that park near your neighborhood?” Camila smiles at the familiarity of that.

 

“Okay.”

 

\--------------------

 

“I can’t believe you still remember that.”

 

“How could I forget?”

 

“It’s embarrassing!”

 

“Hardly!” Camila’s laughter is loud and  boisterous and Lauren knows that her embarrassment should be more important.  

 

“You fell in and your top came off and then Matt couldn’t look you in the eyes for weeks!”

 

“These are things you don’t tell people, Camz!” Lauren’s sitting side by side with the other girl on the dock. Feet dangling in a way that’s all too cliche. The lake is nearly frozen over, but it’s frosty and oddly enough, beautiful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm at home sick. That's why I didn't update yesterday sorry. I can do chapter 8 today if you'd all like. Message me (:


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**Sunday, December 23rd 2013 (continued)**

 

“You should try walking on it.”

 

“Hell no, that’s straight out of one of those tragic love stories where people walk on a frosted lake and fall in and their lover is left alone forever.”

 

“You’re implying that I care enough to be your lover.” Camila would swear on her life right then that Lauren was flirting with her. She thinks it’s a bit of a cliche, but she decides it’s best if she plays along, because what harm could that do?

 

“You’re implying that you don’t want to be.” Lauren’s smirk falters for a second, but a millisecond later her smile is back on and Camila, once again, doesn’t know what to make of it. The next thing Camila knows, Lauren’s standing up and holding her hand out to her as if to say “c’mon.” Camila grasps onto it, with little hesitation, and follows the older girl.

 

Lauren had intended to let go of Camila’s hand once they had stood up, but Camila’s fingers quickly intertwined with her own. She doesn’t mind the change though. She wants to think about the flirting that happened back there, or even if she should call it that, but she wants to spend this moment fully here, with Camila.

 

"Where are we going now?"

 

"I personally think we've been wondering that a lot today so lets just walk and see what happens." Lauren turns and smiles at Camila, giving her hand a small squeeze.

 

"Okay. Twenty questions though?" Camila asks.

 

"You have to start."

 

"Fine." Camila huffs and swings their hands dramatically back and forth. She smiles as she comes up with a question.

 

"Are cheerleaders as air headed as they seem?"

 

"Hey!" Lauren makes a move to let go of Camila's hand, but the younger girl just laughs and grasps tighter. Camila tugs the other girls hand and hugs her. One hand locked around her neck and the other still intertwined with Lauren's. she smiles when Lauren's hand comes up wraps itself around her waist.

 

"You're so mean." Lauren says and Camila just continues to smile. She can hear the playfulness in the other girls voice.

 

Lauren reluctantly lets the girl go. "Alexa is, but the rest of us are alright."

 

"You sure you're included in the 'alright' category?"

 

"Nah, you're totally right. I'm above average." Camila laughs at Lauren's response. She looks at Lauren's profile, tight white scarf covering her neck and a red beanie on top of her head. This moment, she thinks, is perfect. It shouldn't feel like she's got her best friend back already, but it does.

 

"Are you okay?" Lauren asks as she stops them from walking.

 

"Mhm."

 

"Deep in thought?"

 

"Something like that." Camila moves them towards a bunch on the side of the path to sit down on

 

"Wanna talk about it?" Lauren encourages. Camila wonders if she should. If she should say something about how quick they've clicked back together or if she should let this run it's course. She quickly contemplates the pros and cons of both.

 

"I'm glad were friends again." Camila finally says.

 

"Me too." Is all Lauren replies. Wondering if she should say more. If she should tell Camila that it's more than just friends that's been on her mind, despite how short their reacquaintance has been. She quickly wonders if Camila even knows that she identifies as Bisexual. So as smooth as Lauren is, she's back to awkward with Camila. "Did you ever hear any rumors about me?"

 

"I don't really have anyone to hear them from." Camila smiles. She had overheard people saying things, but she stuck to her own business. "Why?"

 

This sort of thing, coming out continuously to people she cares about and even people she doesn't, is always nerve wracking. The first time you admit it to yourself is one thing. Then the first time you tell someone is another thing. But every time after that, it's still a bit of the same anxiety. It's always a bit of a shot in the dark. She'll allow Camila her own judgment. Despite how anxious she feels, she came a sense of peace about it a long time ago.

 

"I'm bisexual." Camila quirks her eyebrow at the girl. She looks into worried green eyes and smiles. "Life's too short to limit yourself, right?" Camila says.

 

"Really?" Lauren wonders if the same thing applies to the younger girl.

 

"I suppose. I mean it's not really all that much of a shock." Lauren's face has gone between confusion to bewildered.

 

"What?"

 

"I don't know. I guess I'm just saying that you can be what you want. In a way, I think, as long as you're happy then it's whatever, you know?" Lauren just nods. She closes her eyes and digs her boots into the white ground.

 

"When Sofi first got sick I used to hate everything." Lauren listens intently. Not expecting Camila to bring this up, or how it pertains to the conversation at all.

 

"I used to wish it had happened to me instead." Lauren shuts her eyes tighter, almost as if to day 'no, don't say that.'

 

"I used to go to bed crying and wake up crying because it was a nightmare. It's Sofi. It's Sofi who loves elephants and the colors pink and purple." Lauren nods a small smile forming on her lips.

 

"It took me a long time to come to terms with it and it was actually Sofi who forced me to." Camila says. She doesn't cry now. She doesn't frown; instead, she smiles. "My little sister looked at me and said 'Its no one's fault.' And she would tell me why she'd get through it, barely understanding exactly what it was that had consumed her." Camila remembers Sofi's smile. She remembers the way she offered her some apple sauce cause she couldn't stomach it.

 

"I don't blame anyone. If I've learned anything at all from Sofi; it's that I have to do things that make me happy." Lauren knows exactly what changed in Camila now. She knows that she doesn't regret that time apart anymore. Camila never needed her, Lauren's simply lucky to have been a part of this girls story. She feels like she needs to tell her exactly that.

 

"You gained a lot in that time we spent apart, you know?" Camila looks at Lauren curiously. This heart to heart is really too much of a cliche. With the way the snow is falling and it's nearly Christmas. Camila really wonders if fate or whatever part of the universe works on these things, wants to tell her that this is real.

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"Last night and all of yesterday I had just been thinking that I really regret not taking the time, and well the patience to figure it all out back then." She pauses wondering what exactly she needs to say to get her point across. "I came to the realization, about three minutes ago---" Camila smiles, "that you've grown up. That you've learned and seen things I can't imagine. But you're independent and now, you're wise beyond your years and I can't be angry at myself for that." Camila nods, understanding quickly enough that this isn't about Lauren dismissing what had happened, she just wants to make up for it now.

 

"So here we are." Camila says.

 

"I guess so."

 

\----------------------------

 

"Normani, shut up."

 

"No."

 

"You're awful."

 

"You're the one I haven't seen in two days!"

 

"I'm sorry!" Normani huffs at Lauren over the phone and Lauren frustratedly runs her fingers through her hair.

 

"Tell me why!"

 

"Mani you suck."

 

"I don't usually push, but secrecy is a no no between us!" Lauren sighs again and plops down onto her bed.

 

"I was with Camila, okay?"

 

"Was that so hard to say?" Normani laughs through the phone. She had just been teasing Lauren, not at all actually mad at her.

 

"Again, you suck."

 

"No, I'm a blessing from God."

 

"Whatever." Lauren needs her best friend. A lot right now actually.

 

"How's that going?"

 

"Pretty well actually."

 

"Are you inviting her to our thing tomorrow?"

 

"Why?" Lauren didn't think they were inviting anyone else. They never had before.

 

"I don't know. We could invite more people this year, I was thinking of asking Arin and Alex and stuff." Normani shrugs as if Lauren could see it.

 

"Oh, so it's not awkward for me?" Lauren laughs. Normani should have just told her that she wanted Arin to come.

 

"Okay. I'll Skype her later tonight or something."

 

"How's that going, by the way." The other cheerleader asks, curious on what Lauren's current status was with her.

 

"I don't know. It's progressing? I think--" Lauren pauses; contemplating if she should say this at all and jinx her luck. "---I think she knows I like her? Or has some sort of knowledge. We were sort of flirting and I guess we'll see what happens during break."

 

"So invite her. I don't know how complicated things are for y'all now, but invite her and see what happens." Lauren smiles. Normani's always been simple about things, despite how much she craves drama and gossip.

 

"Okay, Mani."

 

Lauren hangs up the phone an hour or so later, after catching up with the other girl. She lays on her bed and wonders how she should ask Camila.

 

Tomorrow was Christmas Eve. Every Christmas Eve she would go with Normani to the Capitol, a mere three hours away, and take pictures with the enormous tree there. Their parents would take turns taking them, but this is the first year they had their cars. She thinks that it could be taken romantically, but nevertheless it would be fun.

 

Lauren also wonders if she's been bothering Camila too much. It's only been a few days, if she could even count two days ago and she's seen the girl more than she's slept. She figures she can blame Normani when she asks Camila. She might as well bite the bullet now. She text Camila; ‘Skype?’ and waits anxiously for the younger girl to get out.

 

She gets a quick sure with a smiley face and she hops onto her laptop. When she logs onto Skype Camila’s stupid user ‘swimmerchick97’ is there and Lauren remembers when the girl made it.

 

“Hey punk!” Camila’s hello to Lauren.

 

“What’s up?” Lauren looks at Camila, she recognizes the swimmer’s Madison sweatshirt. She looks at the warm brown eyes, even through the computer.

 

“Just laying around and reading.”

 

“Gatsby again?”

 

“Actually, no. This time it To Kill A Mockingbird.”

 

“Does anyone else know you’re a geek?”

 

“No, it’s my darkest secret.”

 

“Dork.” Lauren smiles at the girl, wide and bright.

 

“Why’d you wanna skype?”

 

“Maybe I just want to see your pretty face.”

 

“Look in the mirror.” Camila laughs at Lauren’s disgusted face and she wonders if Lauren knows how beautiful she actually is.

 

“In all seriousness, what’re you doing tomorrow?” Camila thinks, her family doesn’t celebrate Christmas Eve all that importantly, the celebration is usually the day of. “Well, nothing, why?”

 

“Normani and I have been doing this thing since Freshman year. We, uhm, well we’ve been doing down to DC every Christmas Eve since Freshman year. We go see the Christmas tree and stuff. Normani, she said I should invite you.” Lauren can almost see the blush on Camila’s cheek.

 

“Do you want me to come? Or are you asking just because Normani told you to?” Lauren raised her eyebrow. Wondering if Camila’s really asking her what she is. “Are you saying you’d like me to cordially invite you?” When Lauren’s real thoughts were ‘should I ask you on a date?’

 

“Yes.”

 

“Karla Camila Cabello, do me the honor of accompanying me to Washington, DC tomorrow?”

 

“Anything for a Jauregui.” Camila smiles and thinks forward to the car ride and everything. “Oh! Uhm, Mani’s inviting Lex too, so you can invite anyone you want! We’d just have to take multiple cars.” Camila nods her head. Wondering if she was wrongly thinking that it sounded a bit like a date.

 

\--------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is getting cute, y'all better love it. Wait till you find out how they start going out. Let me know if you want nine later tonight!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this was so short. I wanted to gear up for Chapter 10. Message me guys! I'm making this fluffy as hell because we're all in need of it.

**Chapter 9**

**Monday, December 24th 2013**

 

“Why are you calling me at like seven am, dawg. Ima cut you.” Dinah’s groggy voice and attitude makes Camila laugh immediately.

 

“DC remember?”

 

“Good lord. Fuck.”

 

“Hey!”

 

“Sorry, you’ve got virgin ears.”

 

“I’m picking you up in like twenty. Wanna grab some snacks before we head to Lo’s?” Camila’s tugging her pants on now. Multi-tasking on the phone with Dinah. She’s anxious about today, but she thinks it’s in a good way.

 

“Mhm, sure. See you soon, dawg.”

 

Camila grabs what she thinks she needs and goes into Sofia’s room. She kisses her sister on the head softly, careful not to wake her, and makes a mental note to grab an elephant ornament from a gift shop or something.

 

She heads downstairs to grab a bagel and one of her dad’s polaroids. She used to despise when her dad would pull one of them out during the holidays and take a million photos of them, but now, now she’s glad he’s got them laying around.

 

She leaves a not at the front door and on the kitchen, that she’s going out. Finally she grabs her keys and goes to pick up Dinah. After ten or so minutes she arrives at the girls front door and DInah’s dressed in ridiculous red pants and a white jacket with a black scarf and Camila wonders if she should have dressed more appropriately. She herself dressed in her black boots, black leggings and a blue sweater. She was going for comfort, not fashion. Whatever, she thinks.

 

“Where do you want to stop?”

 

“Uhm, seven eleven I guess.” Camila nods and starts the drive.

 

“So, thought about what we spoke about last night?” Dinah asks the girl. Last night had been a whirlwind to say the least. Dinah had received a call at about ten pm and picked it up to hear Camila panicking. Camila had asked Dinah if she considered them close friends and Dinah had said yes, because Dinah trusts easily. She doesn’t care that they don’t hang out that often, she mostly cares that Camila called her at all. That’s a sign of trust in her opinion.

 

After about an hour of talking about Camila’s past three years and why the girl has been so distant and then about Lauren Dinah is all caught up to speed. Quite soon afterwards Dinah began asking about what exactly it was that Camila was calling her about. She hadn’t meant to be rude, she had meant to be honest. Camila then told her about that day. How they went to the lake and how she was slightly confused at Lauren’s confession and the mild flirting.

 

All the other swimmer could tell her was to think about how Camila felt about Lauren, about what precisely she felt had changed or not changed, and how she felt about Lauren’s admission and the flirting.

 

So, Camila thought. She thought long and hard about it. She stared at her ceiling while glancing at her phone several times and never came to a conclusion, well, until she realized she wasn’t thinking at all. So she tried even harder. She thought of Lauren as she was those years ago and thought of the girl she’s getting to know now. After she looked at the clock and watched as the changed to two am in the morning she shut her eyes and tried to sleep.

 

“I still don’t know to be honest.” Dinah looks over at Camila. She wonders what to say or if she should ask questions at all. She decides, that if Camila couldn’t think of anything, she might as well help. “Are you okay with her flirting?”

 

“I guess I don’t because I responded in the same way.”

 

“Okay, so if she had a crush on you would you care?”

 

“I don’t know. We just became friends again. Is there a risk in that? In jumping the gun and stuff?” Camila wonders if Lauren does have a crush. She thinks about how they held hands and how Lauren cared for Sofi. But it gets confusing because those things could just be Lauren trying to make up for the past, as she had said.

 

“Does it matter?” Camila looks exasperatedly at Dinah.They get out of the car to grab some snacks and Dinah’s avoiding her, attempting to come up how to respond.

 

Camila uses the time to grab some skittles, sour patch watermelon, cheetos and some hot chocolate for the three of them. She sees a bag of hubba bubba bubble gum and grabs it for Lauren, remembering that the girl used to love blowing large bubbles before, smiling at that thought.

 

“Okay, dawg, so it’s like this. If what you’re saying is true, that Lauren’s doing all those things and flirting. If she does have a crush on you, it does matter. Because she has feelings you know? That matters for your relationship and stuff. So if it is then you have to make a decision then and well, do you want her to?” Camila furrows her eyebrows and places the things to pay for on the counter. She pays quickly and hasn’t responded at all to Dinah, deep in thought.

 

“Mila, don’t be mad okay? I’m not one for being deep, I didn’t mean to overstep or anything.”

 

“You didn’t, at all. I think I needed that.” Camila turns to give her a small smile. “Here, call Lauren and yell at her to make sure she’s awake.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

**Monday, December 24th 2013 (Continued)**

“Holy hell, hubba bubba!” Lauren screams as she goes through the snacks that Camila and Dinah had picked up. They’re heading to pick up Alexa now. Normani and Arin are meeting them there.

“Wait, are we driving Alex’s care or mine?” Camila asks before making the turn into Alexa’s neighborhood.

“Probably hers. She doesn’t like other people driving.”

“Oh, okay, cool.” Camila pulls up to the older girls house and they unload their snacks.

“Hey, Laur!” Alexa gives Lauren a hug before Lauren introduces her to Camila and Dinah. They all chat for a bit before Lauren pulls Camila aside.

“Are you okay with everything?”

“What do you mean?” Camila isn’t sure if there’s anything to not be okay about.

“I don't know. Going with us." Camila thinks it's sort of cute that Lauren's standing here, hand on her arm, genuine concern in her eyes, asking if she's okay. She is though, she thinks about last night and wonders if she should say something about that too.

"I'm okay. I wouldn't have said yes, otherwise."

"Good." The swimmer notices the way Lauren's smile seems to be warm and bright and a lot like it's been these past few days. She likes it, alot.

“Hey, lovebirds!” Lauren looks up to glare at Alexa, before realizing that she was actually talking to Arin and Normani. The blush that follows is noticeable to everyone.

“Let’s get going!”

“Bitches, I call shotgun! Alexa here is funnier than all of you.” Dinah yells as she hops into the passenger seat in Alexa’s Range Rover. “Fine, Lauren’s better company anyways, traitor!” Camila yells back gaining a laugh from everyone.

“We’re following, Arin.” Alex says to the three of them. She starts her car up and Camila passes the snacks up to Dinah.

The first thirty minutes of the ride are filled with talking between the four of them and trying not to make a huge mess of Alexa’s car. After a while, Lauren’s usual car-sickness kicked in and she became quiet as she leaned her head against the tinted window.

“Lo?” Camila says softly as she leans over the middle seat. Alexa and Dinah still chatting away animatedly in the front. “Lo?” She shakes the older girl’s shoulder a bit.

“Yeah?” Lauren sits up and opens her eyes to face Camila. “You okay?”

“Mhm.” Lauren closes her eyes again. “Sorry, I just get car sick sometimes.” Camila nods and retreats to her side of the car. Lauren hears her phone go off.

She picks it up and looks at her notifications; _‘You look cute like that._ ’ She smiles at Camila’s text, forward or not, she’s pretty sure Camila’s flirting. Sickness be damned; _‘Yeah?’_ She texts back.

Camila turns to smile at her, she sees it out of the corner of her eye, but refuses to look at her back.

_‘I don’t lie, Jauregui.’_

_‘Why’re you texting me again?’_

_‘Because...’_

_‘Because what?’_

_‘Would you like me to stop?’_

_‘Yes.’_ Lauren waits till Camila sees the text before reaching over to hold Camila’s hand. She winks when she sees a small blush covering Camila’s face.

\--------------------

“Lunch?” Camila furiously nods her head at Alexa’s suggestion. “You’re really cute for a Junior.” Alexa says, laughing at Camila’s excitement at the prospect of food. She can feel Lauren glaring, but she’s a natural flirt. She’s pretty sure she’s been flirting with Dinah the entire ride here.

“Guys! Let’s go get some burgers or something. We can take the metro.” Normani leads the group, having known the area the best. Lauren ‘smoothly’ puts a hand around Camila’s shoulders, which gets Camila laughing because Lauren isn’t the right height for that, at all. “If you wanted to touch me, you could’ve just asked.” It comes out between her fits of laughter.

“I want to!” Alexa and Dinah say almost simultaneously. The two clamber over to Camila and Dinah shoves Lauren out of the way. She huffs overdramatically and the continue to walk as Lauren falls back with Normani and Arin.

“They just stole your girl.”

“I totally knew you had a thing for her back then!” Arin says in reply to Normani’s comment.

“What? No.” Lauren rolls her eyes at Arin’s outburst.

“Yeah, you guys were always together!”

“I didn’t like her back then.”

“But you do now?” Lauren nods in affirmative.

“Get it girl!” Arin says as he wraps an arm around Normani’s shoulders. Normani smiles and gives him a kiss on the cheek. “Gag me, you guys are gross.”

“Don’t be jealous.” Normani says using the hand that’s not wrapped around Arin’s waist to hold Lauren’s. Normani wonders if it was a good idea to tell Lauren to invite Camila, because afterall, Lauren’s very much in control of her life. But Normani also found matchmaking entirely too entertaining; “Camila, is it okay if I take your girl?” Normani shouts to the girls ahead.

Camila turns around and notices Normani and Lauren’s  intertwined hands. She smirks before saying, “I’m her pimp and she’s expensive.”

“Shut up!” Lauren responds playfully glaring down all of her friend’s that are laughing.

“Just kidding, she’s mine you can’t have her.” Camila responds, untangling herself from Alexa and Dinah to grab both of Lauren’s hands and swing them side to side dramatically.

Lauren and Camila spend much of lunch the same way. Flirting back and forth and keeping contact in some form or another. At times, Lauren’s eyes would flare with jealousy when Alexa flirted with Camila on purpose, to push the girl into what felt inevitable. Lauren spent most of that time thinking if it could be this simple. If she had spent the last few days with Camila making amends and already wanting to be with her for an indefinite amount of time.

They spent time walking around, before Lauren decided she wanted to take Camila somewhere. She told Normani to take the other girls and Arin around and that she’d make it up to her later, that she’d meet them by the tree before six. Normani nodded, slapped her butt, and told her to get her girl.

“Lo, stop dragging me!” Lauren laughs and slows down a bit with a quick apology, “Whoops.”

“Where are we going?”

“For me to know---”

“And for you tell me.” Camila cuts her off quickly. Lauren sticks her tongue out the swimmer.

“Look, we’re like a block away. My mom took Mani and I here last time and it was great. I think it’s the perfect place for you.” Lauren mumbles shyly glancing at the street signs. One more block.

“Give in already!” Camila lets go of Lauren’s hand dramatically and tucks them together with a pout.

“Look, right there.” Camila looks up in the direction that Lauren’s pointing and sees the large grey building in front of her. She doesn’t see a sign and wonders if she’s supposed to know what Lauren’s pointing at. “Uhm.” Is all she says.

“It’s the library of congress you doof.” Camila’s eyes widen. “Holy shit!” Lauren’s never heard her curse like that before but she finds herself chasing after Camila because the girl is literally running into the building.

After getting past security they walk around without much of a goal. They hold hands and Lauren likes watching the way Camila’s eyes brighten at certain books she recognizes. She smiles as they pass through exhibit after exhibit and Camila is intently reading plaques and details about maps among other things. It’s when they get to Thomas Jefferson’s Library exhibit that Lauren really catches herself in awe.

Camila’s spouting out facts about each book she passes and asks Lauren if she’s ever read a book that lies in between the air tight glass panels. She watches as Camila traces her fingers over the glass as if she could trace the spines of those old books and she wonders what it’d be like to give Camila a book like that.

“The library of Congress bought this set for about $24,000. Like, it’s insane. Today? These books are practically priceless.”

“I’d buy you them if I could.”

“Oh yeah? Well, you better start making money then.” Camila winks at Lauren.

“I feel like you like reading more than you did back then.”

“I think that’s probably a true statement.”

“I guess it’s good that your passion’s grown.”

“It is.”

“Do you---” Lauren pauses, waiting for Camila to turn back around and face her and when she does, when Camila turns to face her, eyes expectant, Lauren almost loses her train of thought.

“What?”

“Do you, I don’t even know where I’m going with this because it’s really random, but we’re here alone, well alone as in without our friends, but I guess I just wanted some more time alone with you even though we were alone like every day before this, I mean, since we made up or whatever we did--” Lauren takes a deep breath a chances a glance at Camila, who’s face is holds a ghost of a smile. “Keep going. The rambling’s cute.”

“I should stop just because of that.”

“No!” Camila says a bit too loudly, getting some curious looks from other visitors.

“I just don’t know what to say and I like holding your hand and when you’re around and I want to around and I caught myself thinking about you when I shouldn’t be at all and I just want to, I don’t know, I just want to be around.”

“Around?”

“Yeah.” Lauren wants to slap herself for not getting directly to the point and she just said the lamest thing that she’s ever said because she doesn’t just want to be around, she wants to be right there with Camila. Fuck, she thinks.

“Can I say something?”

"Sure." Lauren hasn't looked Camila in the eye, afraid to see a reflection of her own humility there. She’s never found herself this uneasy, it’s more than unsettling to her. Camila, on the other hand, is feeling a confidence she didn’t think she had. Earlier, stuck between Alexa and Dinah, Alexa had told her not to hurt the younger cheerleader. Camila hadn’t quite understood what she meant, but after recognizing the flash of jealousy in her friend’s eyes when Alexa would playfully flirt with her, she gathered that Lauren had felt more for her than she had cared to admit from the start. More than that, it was the way Lauren’s would hold her hand a little tighter, would bring her a little closer, when it happened, that pointed Camila in the right direction.

Camila leans down to catch the older girls gaze, ducking her head carefully. When she does get a glimpse of shy green eyes, she smiles encouragingly. “I want you to be around, but not like we spoke about before.” Lauren’s eyebrows furrow and Camila almost wants to laugh at how ridiculous they’re being right now, sidestepping feelings like this. Maybe this is why she’s doing what she’s doing. Time is precious.

“I want you to be around because you make me happy. Reading makes me ecstatic, swimming calms me, Sofi makes me laugh, but---” Camila pauses to smile at Lauren, as if to tell her to slow her heart down, because this isn’t a goodbye. “--I hadn’t realized how much I needed something to keep those moments connected, that I had voids of silences where my mind wanders and a few days ago, I made this decision. This decision with someone to start over and forget the bad parts of the past. You make those things connect.”

Lauren stands there, no more than two feet away from Karla Camila Cabello, taking in the weight of that. She stands there, feeling more than she ever has. More than she’s ever wanted to feel, but she’s finding now, that it’s welcomed. She looks at Camila in the eyes, as she has been during the girl’s monologue. The smile feels as though it’s nearly breaking off her face, and she knows her eyes are squinted because she’s smiling so wide, but she doesn’t care.

She wonders if it’s too forward, but she takes the steps to closing the gap between her and Camila and pulls her into a tight hug. Arms enclosed around the younger girl’s waist and head tucked into her neck. She breaths in and this is too intimate for a place filled with books, but Lauren knows that it’s probably Camila’s dream.

Camila wraps her arms around the green eyed girl’s neck and can’t help the urge to kiss the girl’s forehead, so she does. She does and she swears she can feel Lauren’s eyelashes flutter when she does. She closes her eyes tight and imprints this precise memory into her brain. Hoping she can find the words to write down later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND I HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN TO THEM AT THE TREE R U READY FOR MORE FLUFF OR
> 
> okay caps off, hi message me (if you don't i'll cry), kudos if you care, <3
> 
> shout out to not so starstruck, habit, summer nights, through the pane, and the higher the heels. y'all rock


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

**Monday, December 24th 2013 (Continued)**

Lauren stands at the end of line to viewing the tree holding four mochas in her hand waiting for their friends to arrive. Camila stands beside Lauren staring at the enormous tree in awe. She thinks today has already been more than she could’ve hoped for.

“Finally, you jerks!” Lauren says, shoving the container with the drinks over at Normani.

“Impatient much?”

“It was getting annoying.” Lauren huffs, glad to have her hand finally free.

“What’d y’all do?” Dinah asks the dou.

“Library of Congress.”

“I think you guys are the boringest people ever.” Dinah replies.

“That’s not even a word.” Camila sticks her tongue out at Dinah. “Whatever.”

“In any case, we traveled like four hours to see this thing so stare at it appreciatively.” Alexa says, taking the focus off of Dinah and redirecting their attention to the tree. Camila takes that opportunity to slip her hand back into Lauren’s and smiles as Lauren squeezes her hand in appreciation. Camila’s swept into the wonder of the tree and Lauren and basically everything that has to do with today.

For a second, after her and Lauren had left the Library of Congress, Camila had a sliver of doubt rush into her mind. Thinking that life has been nothing besides cruel to her family, but she remembers Sofi’s words quickly and she had turned to look at Lauren, who simply smiled, not a clue as to what Camila had been thinking. That was enough for Camila’s doubt to settle and live in that content moment.

She turns to bump Lauren’s shoulder with her own and when the other girl turns to face her, Camila quickly kisses her cheek.

“Dork.”

“Hush.” Camila mumbles back. A shiver runs through her as a sharp cold breeze passes through the throng of people. She wishes she had worn a scarf of some sort. Camila continues to move her feet in position to stay warm.

“I’m not ready for second semester to start. I don’t want to take French again.” Dinah whines. “Hey, at least I’m in the same class with you, now that we know each other we can just mess around. I hate french anyways.” Lauren says to Dinah, using her free hand to high-five the girl.

Lauren feels Camila shivering every few minutes so she takes the hand she’s holding and puts it into her jacket pocket. It’s entirely too cheesy, but cheesy is fine with Camila.

“Should I call a hand check on you guys.” Alexa says, a smirk on her face as she watched Lauren tuck their intertwined hands into her pocket. “No doofus, she’s just cold.” Lauren replies back.

“You’re so damn couply.” Alexa’s pushing it because she thinks there’s been a change and she likes to push Lauren to her limit. She also wants to see if the two girls have finally gotten together.

“Shut up.” Is all Lauren says in reply.

“Nope, if everyone is paired off then Dinah is now my lover.”

“Don’t I get a say in this?” Dinah replies, eyebrow raised and expectant.

“Please, like you’d turn me down.”

“That’s true.” Dinah then wraps her arms around Alex’s neck and kisses her cheek dramatically. Normani and Arin are laughing at the scene. Lauren rolls her eyes.

“Are you guys a couple now?” Alexa asks now that they’ve stopped laughing.

The girls look at each other, wondering exactly how to classify this or if they want to right now at all. Lauren knows what she wants, but also knows that she wants to romance Camila. She wants to actually sweep her off her feet because she’s never done this before, never been this serious about another girl and she wants to do it right. She leans forward to kiss Camila’s cheek before saying ‘no’ to Alexa.

Camila’s face falls at that, wondering what she had done wrong, but pays no attention to it, as they’ve finally reached the front of the line. The six of them take a bunch of pictures only to be shoved away from the tree by more tourists like themselves.

“Is that it?” Dinah asks.

“Uhm yeah.”

“Well, that was anticlimactic.” Alexa says.

“Whatever, let’s go home.” Normani replies, tugging Arin’s arm to head back to the car.

Lauren hangs back with Camila, straying behind the other four to give them enough room not to be heard. “Hey, don’t be upset, okay?” Camila just nods, not sure if she should say what she’s thinking, mostly, she’s confused.

“I want to take you out on some dates before I ask you out. I want to make sure you want this. Let’s do that okay? And then I can ask you to be my girlfriend.” Camila smiles, understanding now why Lauren said no.

“Who says you get to make the dates and ask me out?”

“Me.”

“Well, I think I’ll beat you to it.” Camila says, the competitive nature within her rising to the occasion.

“Whatever, hot shot.” Lauren says, kissing Camila’s cheek again.

“Can we at least kiss? Because....” Camila knows she should be blushing, and she has no idea where this boost of confidence has come from, because she’s never had a girlfriend or boyfriend in her life and this is way out of her league, but she’s going with it and she enjoys the way Lauren blushes when she does say stuff like this. And maybe it mostly has to do with how she’s wanted to kiss Lauren since this last night when her hair was in a messy ponytail and she had a hoodie on and she looked a mess, but even more so now, as they’re walking to the car and Lauren’s fingers are intertwined with hers in a way that feels heavy and light all at the same time.

“That depends, are you asking me to kiss you, Camz?” Lauren smirks.

Camila almost wants to say shut up, but instead, she stops them from walking any further, tugs her hand away from Lauren’s, rests it on the space where Lauren’s dark jeans meet the t-shirt underneath the jacket she’s wearing and pulls Lauren’s face close to hers, not even an inch apart from her lips she just says, “kiss me.”

And who is Lauren to deny her that?

They’re kissing and it’s not even anything beyond innocent, but it’s intimate contact and it _matters_. It matters because this is Camila’s first kiss and it didn’t feel remote or uneasy, it felt natural. It’s nothing like she imagined because she hadn’t really imagined it at all, but she thinks that that’s a good thing because once again she’s finding her mind empty and all she can really feel is Lauren’s lips on hers.

**\--------------**

**Tuesday, December 25th 2013**

“Mila, Mila, Mila, Mila, Milaaaaaaaa!” Camila grabs the pillow that was underneath her head and uses it to block the sound of Sofi’s voice out. She loves her little sister, but it feels like it’s still like one am and she’s not ready to see the sun or talk to people. It’s just too early.

“Karla, c’mon!” She hears her dad now and she screams into her pillow before throwing on some sweatpants and grabbing her phone. She walks out of her room without bothering to brush her teeth or anything.

“Finally! We get to open presents now! Sofi excitedly says.

“Alright, here’s your pile, Karla.” Her mom points at the small pile next to Sofi. She takes her seat and watches as Sofi starts opening her gifts. She watches as she first opens a set of paint and a few other things Sofi had said she wanted. Camila had gotten her little sister a princess set and a promise to take her anywhere she wanted this summer. Sofi had one last gift, one that Camila knew wasn’t from any of them because of the different looking gift wrap. Once Sofi opens it she sees the toy that the little girl had been eying at the mall when they were with Lauren. Sofia’s ecstatic at the sight of it and gives them all hugs and kisses on the cheek.

Camila texts Lauren before she starts opening hers; ‘I don’t know how you did it or how you got that into my house, but thank you. She was so happy.’

She opens the gifts from her parents, clothes, a gift card to Barnes & Nobles, and some more socks (because socks are awesome). She eats breakfast with her family, checking her phone again to see that Lauren hasn’t texted her back. She thinks that maybe it’s a bit too much to see Lauren today, so she resists texting her again, letting things settle in from yesterday.

She has church at 12, which ends up being extremely long, but she enjoys it anyways. Camila spends the time between church and on texting Lauren little things. They talk about yesterday and the pictures they got from it. They talk about random things and Camila likes that she’s got that now. She even spends some of the day texting Dinah and keeping her up to date.

Preparing for Christmas dinner is a huge project. Camila knows her mom has been in the kitchen since they got back from church and Camila knows she should be helping. Her grandparents are coming over and so are her aunt and uncles, her little cousins. It’s the first Christmas in a while that Sofi has been healthy enough to handle being around so many people. Camila’s really glad.

She doesn’t look at her phone between two to about five, because she’s so caught up in helping her mom out, but when they finish up around five-thirty, just in time to hear the doorbell ring, Camila runs up to change and check her phone. She sees a few texts from Dinah, but about six or seven from Lauren. She scrolls through them; _‘Camilaaaaaa?’, ‘Camz, answer me, my brother and sister are being so annoying.’, ‘In all seriousness my mom said to invite your family over for our New Years Eve party, I just forgot to ask, please let me know?’, ‘Okay, time for you to answer.’, ‘I’m going to come over and toss your phone at your face.’, ‘What if I told you that I can’t stop thinking about that kiss?’, ‘The thing that sucks about iPhones is that I can’t delete that message. I’m so lame.’_

Camila laughs at the last two, sending off a quick reply before she runs back downstairs to greet her family; _‘I’ll talk to my parents about it later tonight. I like kissing you a lot. Let’s skype later tonight?’_

Camila gets a quick response and smiles; _‘Fingers crossed that they say yes, I can’t wait to see you later then. (:’_

\--------------------

“That was _exhausting_.” Camila lays in bed, computer resting next to her.

“I bet. Our family’s coming for New Years Eve so this year was relatively quiet.” Lauren says, making Skype full screen before mimicking Camila’s position.

“I’m so tired.”

“You’re probably just going to go into a food coma you know.”

“Would you take care of my food baby?” Lauren laughs at the sight of Camila rubbing her stomach.

“I don’t know what you mean by that, but whatever.” Lauren says. Turning on some music on her phone.

“You still like Lana Del Ray?”

“Do you still like pizza?” Camila laughs, “I see how that works now.”

“Do you still sing?” Camila questions, eyes closed still.

“Occasionally.”

“You should sing for me.”

“You’re the one who plays the guitar, I need accompaniment.” Lauren says, hoping Camila’s just too tired because she hasn’t sang in front of someone in too long.

“No, sing me something nooooow.” Lauren’s very sure that Camila’s whining is due to her exhaustion and she really doesn’t want to fight the girl on it, but she will bargain, “How about tomorrow?”

“How about you sing now and I’ll bring my old guitar out of retirement and we can go somewhere tomorrow and sing.” Camila says, not even realizing that she is nearly asleep.

“Only if it counts as a date.”

“Okay.”

So Lauren finds a song to sing, she’s sure that little things is too appropriate, but does it anyways. She watches as Camila’s breathing evens out and she’s in the middle of singing wake me up by Ed and she has to stop because her breath almost catches when Camila shifts a bit and she’s deep asleep.

Lauren smiles, contemplating whether or not to turn off skype and let the younger girl rest. But, she doesn’t, because she likes watching over Camila like this, even if they’re in the same town, a mere ten minutes away from one another, Lauren likes to be there in one form of another.

She picks another song and sings along until she too, is exhausted. She goes to turn off her light and she leaves her computer on one corner of her bed. She types in the skype chat box quickly, before sleep takes over her; _“You look beautiful. I’ll see you in the morning, Camz.”_

\----------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> djkfhflahafs was that cute? idk man
> 
> i've got more to do, but anyways message me.
> 
> also to the one anon who said something that made me cry, calling my writing beautiful. I love you a lot, thank you so much for that.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

**Wednesday, December 26th 2013**

 

Camila awoke to a brightly lit blue screen, she glances at her bedside clock: three thirty in the morning. Once her eyes have adjusted to the light in the room she looks back at her computer screen, finally registering that she had fallen asleep on Skype with the green eyed girl.

 

She sees the message that Lauren had left her, _'You look beautiful. I'll see you in the morning, Camz.’_

 

She smiles at that, she can't really see much of Lauren's figure thanks to the dark screen, but she sees the outline of Lauren's body. She assumes the girl is fast asleep and types in a reply, contemplating what she should say. She settles on something rather simple; _'Its about 3:30 and I know you're asleep but I kind of wish you were here with me.'_

 

She hits send and then sets her head down on the pillow once again. Camila closes her eyes, wishing the drowsiness would draw her in again, but within a few moments she's opening her eyes and staring up last the ceiling. She finds that her mind is not quiet at all, that she's thinking of a lot of things and it’s the sort of noise she welcomes.

 

Her thoughts rest first on Sofi and she finds that she can’t at all imagine a life without her younger sister. It’s hard being in the position that she’s in, but it’s helped that Sofi has come to terms with herself. Despite her Catholic upbringing Camila likes to believe in reincarnation.

 

They say that Earth could be purgatory, for those who are not ready to move on to Heaven, that they still have sins to pay for and a reason to be on Earth. Camila believes that it is a lot like reincarnation. You stay on Earth and you reincarnate till you’re ready to move on. She wonders if that’s a bit like soul mates. If she herself was in this current life and her soulmate is still here too. She wonders if the notion is pure love or platonic love. If soulmates are no more than two bonded spirits.

 

Nonetheless, these are the sorts of thoughts that keep her mind occupied. She turns on her bedside lamp, leaning over to turn the brightness down on her computer so that Lauren can continue to sleep. Walking over to her bookshelves she grabs her small black moleskine notebook, the one she writes in every so often.

 

Flipping through the pages she sees her messy handwriting sprawled on the beige pages. About a three quarters of this notebook is filled. She started writing after Sofi got sick, but she dares not look at those first few entries, remembering how angry she was at the world and how she wished it was her. She hasn’t written in it since she’s reunited with Lauren. It occurs to her that a lot of her life is summed up into incidences that tore her apart. The past few years are proof of that and she wonders if it’s nothing more than the sins she needs to make up for, like the purgatory that she thinks Earth is.

 

Remembering her anger makes her feel a bit strange. That person she was and remembers being seems to be a different person since she’s made peace with it. Maybe this is a step forward. Maybe she’s meant to face this difficulties with a sense of peace and understanding. She thinks that that is a great outlook and flips to a clean page to write her thoughts down.

 

She’s about three pages in, writing down what she can remember when she hears Lauren shifting.

 

“Camz?”

 

“Yeah?” Camila ducks down to her laptop to see Lauren’s face illuminated by her the screen. She smiles as she sees Lauren blinking her eyes and adjusting to the light; “hey there.”

 

“Mmph,” Lauren mumbles as she momentarily gives up on trying to look at her screen. She shuts her eyes and pushes her face into her pillow. She can hear Camila laughing at her, but she knows for sure it’s still dark out. “What time is it?” Camila recognizes the groggy voice as Lauren being overly tired still, but says nothing of it, she looks at the clock and is surprised to find that it is, “Four thirty.”

 

“In the morning?”

 

“No doofus, the evening.” Lauren doesn’t catch the joking tone because she’s still half asleep and replies, “Does that mean I missed our date?”

 

“Yep.” Camila nods, even though Lauren can’t see her.

 

“Nooooooo.” Lauren whines. She huffs into her pillow and turns back to the computer, her eyes adjusting much better now that she’s actually trying. She sees Camila, a little bit of light casted on her face and immediately a sleepy smile comes to her face. “Hey, you’re pretty.”

 

“I think you’re delirious.”

 

“Hush, I can admire.”

 

“Go back to sleep, Lo.”

 

“No.” Lauren says, covering her yawn with her hand. She takes a second to adjust the blanket that’s half off of her. It’s then that she notices the little red ‘1’ signaling she has a message. She reads it, smile ghosting over her face once again; _'Its about 3:30 and I know you're asleep but I kind of wish you were here with me.'_

 

“Camz?” Camila nods.

 

“Come over?” Camila raises her eyebrow at the girl. It’s a quarter till five. Lauren sees the hesitation; “Please? This can be the start to our date?” Camila can’t say no to that. She nods and shuts off her computer abruptly, grabbing a pair of clothes to change into and sliding on sweats. She takes her notebook with her, not even close to done with collecting her thoughts to keep in the small journal. She almost forgets to take her guitar, but remembers at the last minute and stashes it away into her trunk.

 

It’s barely a ten minute drive with the empty roads. Camila takes in the cool winter air and thinks that it’s a bit beautiful. With the streetlights casting over the blankets of the snow. As she parks her car beside Lauren’s and grabs the bag she packed. The front door is surprisingly unlocked and when she walks in she sees that the kitchen light is on. Instead of walking right up to Lauren’s room she turns and walks into the kitchen.

 

“I thought I heard the front door open.”

 

“You heard right.” Lauren smiles at the girl, looking at her in her grey loose sweatpants and her simple tank with a north face over it. She’s in much of the same. She puts down the cup of tea and closes the distance between them, hugging the swimmer tight. Camila drops her bag to do the same, wrapping her arms around Lauren’s lower back and closes her eyes.

 

“You smell good.”

 

“Cut it out, weirdo.” Camila says, letting go of Lauren. The older girl laughs and grabs the cup of tea to offer to Camila. “I hope you still like regular jasmine tea.” Camila nods. She appreciates the thoughtfulness Lauren’s putting into her presence, even in her sleep state. She also really loves the messy ponytail. She takes a sip before setting it back down on the counter.

 

“Let’s go.” Lauren grabs Camila’s hand, walking up the stairs to her room. Camila trips on the last step to the upper landing and takes Lauren down with her. She laughs and tries to get back up, only to fall back on Lauren. They’re laughing too loud now and Lauren hushes them despite her own laughing before dragging Camila the rest of the way to her room.

 

“Oh my god, my dad’s going to come out and yell at us.” Lauren says, as they fall onto Lauren’s bed.

 

“Sorry.” Camila says unapologetically.

 

“Will you cuddle with me?”

 

“Why is that a question?” Camila takes off her shoes and socks (because no one should sleep with socks on) and lays down, her arms open for Lauren to shift into. Lauren does, and the slight height difference works for them. Lauren tugs the blanket over them, and kisses Camila on the chin. “Mmm.” Is all Camila replies with.

 

Lauren decides that she can push it considering her sleepy state. Mostly, she’s liking the warmth that Camila’s providing and wants to be that much closer.

 

Camila closes her eyes as Lauren kisses her chin again, smiling when she can feel the older girl ghosting her lips over the path of her jaw. She doesn’t react, allowing Lauren to do as she wishes, enjoying the simple contact.

 

Lauren can see Camila’s smile and lifts her head up slightly to kiss the corner of Camila’s mouth. “Hey that tickles.” Camila says at the light pressure of Lauren’s mouth near her lips. “Stop moving.” Lauren mumbles.

 

“Fine.” Camila replies, but moves so that she’s lying flat on her back. Lauren takes that as an invitation to lay on top of Camila, it’s innocent, nothing more than her enjoying Camila’s contact, but before she knows what’s really happening, Camila is kissing her and it’s nothing like it was the first time.

 

It’s harder and faster than before, but just slightly. Lauren knows that this isn’t her first kiss and it’s nothing like the other girls or guys before. Camila has a softness that’s unique to her and she’s overwhelmed by it. She moves slightly so that she’s leaning over Camila’s body and she angles her head so that her lips are now fitting just right against Camila’s. She can feel the heat around her and putting the blanket on them was the worst thing she could’ve done.

 

She breaks the kiss and leans her head on Camila’s shoulder. She hears the other girl chuckling; “You’re the one with experience.” Lauren shakes her head at that.

 

“Experience or not, you’re something else.”

 

“Just for you, Jauregui.” And Lauren knows she’s been in more relationships and maybe she’s seen as a bit more outgoing than Camila, but the Camila that’s been flirting with her is forward and flirty and Lauren doesn’t hate it one bit.

 

“Shut up.” She bites Camila’s shoulder.

 

\--------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so fuck that other fic i was talking about;
> 
> this will now be an extended series, still tons of fluff but now there's going to be plot and development and everything sugary and nice like the powerpuff girls okay?
> 
> also i can't wait till break is over and they go back to school and camila's all hotshot swimmer and lauren's all cheerleader-y
> 
> i had three cokes i'm kind of hyper sorry ilysm message me bye


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

**Wednesday, December 26th 2013 (continued)**

 

“Lauren wake up, it’s like two in the afternoon.” Chris yells through the door before turning the handle and opening it to see Lauren there with another girl. He smirks, “MOM, DAD, LAUREN’S GOT A GIRL IN HER BED.”

 

“You little shit, shut up, you’re being so loud!” Lauren whisper-yells, cuddling further into Camila and grabbing the blanket to pull it over their heads. She can feel Camila shifting around, waking up from the loud footsteps coming up the stairs and Chris’s yelling. She can feel Camila saying something more than she can hear it because the vibrations from the younger girl’s tired voices ricocheting in the heated space between her neck and the blanket that covering them. She smiles.

 

“Lauren Michelle--” Clara Jauregui stops when Lauren peeks her head out of the blanket with her index pressed against her mouth to tell them to shut up already. Her mother looks like she’s about to explode once again, but Lauren simply whispers, “It’s Camz.”

 

Her mom raises an eyebrow as if to question it, but instead just says, “Lunch in fifteen.” Lauren nods, sticking her tongue out at Chris as they exit her bedroom. She sighs before shifting the blanket down, cool air invading their warmth. She sees Camila’s hand grasping onto her tank and smiles at the implicit intimacy that comes even in their slip.

 

“Camz?” Lauren pokes the younger girls side.

 

“Mm?” Camila shuts her eyes tighter, fighting against consciousness.

 

“Babe?” Her eyes flutter open at that because that’s the first babe she’s heard from the other girl and it’s fitting for the quiet moment.

 

“I like that.” Camila mumbles into Lauren’s neck, smiling instantly at the small laugh she feels Lauren give. She opens her eyes, light pushing into her mind. She registers Lauren’s body close to her and leans forward to give Lauren’s neck a soft kiss, right where it begins to curve up to her jaw, she feels more than she hears the moan.

 

Once again she’ll blame the semi-conscious state for this, but she does it again with a firmer touch of the lips and a slight parting. She feels Lauren’s body shift as to accommodate to this change. Whether deliberate or not, it’s enticing. Camila leans forward again, kissing a path down Lauren’s neck, to the point where it meets her shoulder and sucks, **_hard_**.

 

When Lauren moans loud enough for it to register in her senses she backs away, bashful smile on her face. She hadn’t meant to do that, really, she was just sort of lazily kissing Lauren and sure she’s never kissed that part of Lauren before and she is sincerely bashful.

 

The next thing she knows, Lauren’s turning and laying flat on her stomach. Camila really hopes she isn’t mad.

 

She gets up and straddle Lauren’s lower back, laying so that she’s completely parallel on top of Lauren. “Get off.” Lauren says, trying to wiggle out from underneath the other girl. Camila says no and hugs Lauren like that. Before either of them can react Taylor’s busting into Lauren’s room.

 

“Mom says come down before she tells Dad.” Taylor’s laughing at the scene and backing out leaving the door wide open.

 

The girls gather their things and walk downstairs, messy hair and sweats on still. They each grab a sandwich from Lauren’s mom and sit down beside Lauren’s siblings. “Hi, Camila.” Chris says, sly smile on his face. Lauren immediately recognizes the mischievous glint and narrows her eyes at them.

 

“Hi, Chris.” Camila says back friendly. She hadn’t been around to see the Jauregui’s since things happened with Lauren, but she loves Lauren’s family. She nibbles at the ham and cheese grilled sandwich and tells Mrs.Jauregui thank you before taking another bite.

 

“Why is that Lauren gets to have a girl over and I don’t?” Chris asks his mother. Lauren kicks him under the table.

 

“I didn’t know she was having someone over, but I’m sure they didn’t do anything uhm---” She pauses looking at the girls, “inappropriate.” Camila’s blushing and Lauren wants to absolutely murder her brother.

 

“You trust her more than me!” Chris exclaims, smirk still on his face. “Not to mention she has that hickey forming.”

 

This isn’t about him gaining more sleepover privileges than his older sister, it’s merely about teasing her. “Christopher, hush.” Clara tells her son before setting a plate on the table for her husband. Suppressing a laugh at the mark she does see on the base of her daughter’s neck. Lauren swears she’s going to disappear right here.

 

“Are you guys dating?” Chris asks the two girls.

 

“Uhm.” Camila swears she can’t turn redder right now.

 

“Chris.” Lauren hisses out.

 

“I think that’s a fair question.” Mike Jauregui says as he walks back into the house, sitting down where Clara set the plate.

 

“Oh my God.” Lauren grumbles. Wishing that she could escape right now.

 

“Well?” Taylor urges on, enjoying the taunting her sister is receiving.

 

“We’re...” Lauren looks over at Camila contemplating if dating was the correct term because she sticks by what she said earlier. “We’re dating, but not like _dating_ yet.”

 

“So you’re like taking it slow?” Chris raises an eyebrow, wanting to laugh at the situation, but reigning it in before he get’s punished by his parents. Lauren can’t believe she’s doing this in front of her family right now.

 

“Whatever Chris. Lauren gets up and practically drags Camila up the stairs and back into her room.

 

“Well that was, interesting.” Camila says. As flustered as she was before, now she’s just embarrassed for her friend. “Hush, can we go?”

Camila nods.

 

\---------------------

 

“It’s freezing.”

 

“You should have worn more clothes!”

 

“I didn’t pack more clothes!” Camila yells back, sitting on the hood of the car.

 

“I can’t sing out here.”

 

“Let’s start a fire.” Lauren literally looks at Camila like she’s grown an extra head. “What?”

 

“A bonfire! Let’s do it!”

 

“Camz!” Lauren has no idea how to do that in Pennsylvania and she doesn’t want to set the forest on fire.

 

“We can get Normani and Alexa and everyone else! I’ll invite the swim team and you invite cheerleaders and it’ll be a big post Christmas party!” Camila is actually really giddy at the idea.

 

Lauren has no idea why. Camila has been a private person like forever, but she doesn’t hate the idea either.

 

“C’mon! We could get some of the town police here and it’ll be clean and fun!” Lauren doesn’t have it in her to say no. She just nods, sits herself next to Camila on the hood and wraps her arm around Camila's shoulder, pulling her close to keep her warm. She'd call the troops later.

 

\------------

 

"Lolo!" Normani runs towards Lauren, over-dramatically, and throws her arms around her neck.

 

"Mani!" She laughs and yells back despite their close proximity.

 

"Oh my god."

 

"I know."

 

"I don't know how you guys pulled this off in just a few hours, but props."

 

"You just want me to give in and give you credit for doing all of it." Normani laughs and nods her head. Lauren had contacted her around four o'clock with the bonfire idea and she quickly made a Facebook event for eight that night, needless to say, it was a success.

 

"All hail the queen." Dinah says, bumping into the conversation with Camila in toe.  

 

"But seriously, I think half of the senior and junior classes are here!" Lauren days. Moving to stand behind Camila, arms wrapped around her midsection and head on her shoulder. They look out at the fire, burning bright with pieces of wood, contained by the sand around it. The police and fire station stand by and enjoy the warmth that's radiating into the cold Pennsylvania night. She looks at the teenagers standing around, laughing, singing to the music coming out of someone's nearby car stereo. It's carefree. It's simple. It's exactly what Camila asked for.

 

"Holy hell!" Lauren turns to see one of the basketball players, Troy's friend Sam approach them. Sam, shaggy blonde hair, blue eyes, and a killer smile. Also Lauren's ex from freshman year. Also the guy that didn't understand what a break up meant or that Lauren meant it when she said she is bi.

 

She unconsciously wraps her arms around Camila tighter, jaw set, eyes narrowed. She wonders if, by the swaying of Sam’s body, he’s high again. He used to do it a lot while they were dating and she didn’t really mind at all, only because it never really affected their relationship, _he_ , in essence, was just wrong for her. He couldn’t see past the gel in his hair.

 

“Are you guys dating now?” Sam bursts out when he’s a few feet away.

 

“Sam!” Troy stumbles, tripping over a non-existent branches on the ground, it’s cute how he seems so humble and a ditz, but he fits with Ally.

 

“What! It’s a real question.” Sam spits back, clearly, he’s not malicious, but Lauren doesn’t like where this could go.

 

Camila stiffens at the unwanted attention. She’s not at all ashamed of Lauren, because Lauren is beautiful, it’s the way she felt Lauren’s arm enclose around her tighter than before and she can feel that it’s just not going to end well. Ally is now beside Troy, eyes questioning.

 

“Back off, dude.” Alexa says, coming up between the two girls and the boys.

 

“I think I have a right to know.” Sam says, eyebrows raised.

 

“I’m not dating you, I haven’t been for two years now.” Lauren says, stepping out from behind Camila to stand her ground. She’s always been confident and now is not the time to allow that to change.

 

“Right because you liked girls.” Sam spits out, laughing immediately after. Troy steps in front of the boy now, turning to look at his teammate in the eye. “Back off, Sam.” It’s warning enough, but Lauren’s speaking up, infuriated at the lack of understanding.  

 

“No, I like _both_ and get it through your thick ass head. I broke up with you because we didn’t work, not because you had a penis.” Lauren doesn’t curse, like ever, but she’s riled up at being put on the spot like this.

 

“Lo, enough.” Camila, whispers it, under her breath, grabbing Lauren’s hand and tugs her the opposite direction, wanting desperately to avoid the fight she knew would ensue.

 

“I’m sorry.” Lauren whispers once they’re far enough from the others. Camila just smiles. She continues to lead them towards the car. Lauren thinks that Camila’s finally had enough of her, maybe she wants to go home now.

 

Instead of getting into the car, Camila pops the trunk open.

 

“Hold this.” She hands the guitar case to Lauren.

 

“When’d you grab this?”

 

“Before I came over.” She smiles and grabs Camila’s hand again, intertwining their fingers, a simple connection enough of a thanks.

 

“I told you I’d bring it and you told me you’d sing, so lets go.” Camil says, laughing as she runs with Lauren’s hand in hers back towards the glow of the fire.

 

\-------------------

 

“Mani!” Lauren calls out once Camila strums a few chords, tuning the guitar by ear.

 

Normani sees Lauren and walks over with Alexa in toe. “Jauregui?” Alexa says, raising her eyebrow at the girl and questioning what she could possibly want at the moment.

 

“Sing with me you dorks.”

 

“Oh my god, no.” Normani says before trying to walk off, unsuccessfully thanks to Lauren’s hand on her wrist.

 

“Yes! Your voice is gorgeous c’mon!” Camila nods to emphasize Lauren’s words. She begins strumming the tune of a random old pop song and the girls are singing loudly, playfully. Normani is belting lyrics and Lauren’s dancing with her, happy, really happy.

 

It takes them about ten minutes of that before everyone is paying attention and a the spaces are filled with more teenagers just being reckless. Camila does get tired eventually, though, and asks the person who had the car stereo to find something to play. He does and Camila finds somewhere to sit, with her guitar, a bit off from the large crowd of people.

 

She’s humming, eyes closed, and strumming with her guitar, wishing she had a pick because her fingers are starting to hurt; the callouses she had gained years previous from learning long gone.

 

Before she knows what she’s doing she’s strumming A and then E and she starts humming along; “I tried to be chill, but you’re so hot that I melted.” Camila doesn’t open her eyes, she continues to strum the next chord listening to the cheerleaders voice filing the noise where her humming was.

 

The chorus comes before she knows it and she’s opening her eyes to Lauren sitting right in front of her on the cold ground and she opens her mouth to sing and it’s so _fucking_ corny that she’s playing Jason Mraz right now and that it’s this song that Lauren found her strumming because she _**is**_ Lauren’s. She is despite the lack of a title and admission.

 

She finishes it right after the chorus, lying the guitar on the ground to lean forward and kiss her girl, her person, her cheerleader.

  
\----------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fdkafdskjfsadl;fj did you like it?
> 
> okay so here's the thing like i'm really working on the next chapter because spoiler alert they'll be getting together very very soon and it's going to make you want to puke because it'll be cute.
> 
> message me please because i can tell from the views people are reading but i need feedback like i need my girlfriend
> 
> btw she gets to be on the receiving end of my fluff and i'm wondering when she'll get tired of it lol jk i love you babe
> 
> i love you all
> 
> i'm tired
> 
> until tomorrow my friends


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

**Friday, December 28th 2013**

 

“You’re completely exaggerating.”

 

“I’m not! It was so cute.” Dinah mumbles.

 

“Whatever.” Camila dips her feet back into the pool, watching as the waves ripple out like she has so many times before. It’s a pattern she enjoys, a familiarity that’s never failed her.

 

“In any case, what are you guys? Cause, dawg, y’all are totally cute.”

 

“Let’s not talk about my love-life.”

 

“Oh so you love her?” Dinah raises an eyebrow, laughing at the exasperated look that takes over Camila’s face.

 

“No!” Camila says back, acutely aware of the teasing that’s taking place, she splashes some water at Dinah.

 

“You’re way too easy to tease.” Dinah replies, laughing as she lifts herself and jumps back into the water. Camila quickly does the same, glad to feel the cool liquid around her. She’s always been more comfortable in the water.

 

“I do have to say though, you guys make one fine ass couple.” Camila huffs and just goes back underwater, closing her eyes and blocking everything out. This is her escape, this is her place.

 

“Thanks for the compliment, D.” Camila says, once coming back up to the surface.

 

“No problemo, you need to find me someone.”

 

“Anything for you, my queen.” Camila fakes a bow.

 

“School starts back up soon, you better get working on it.” Camila laughs, a bit annoyed that school starts back so soon. This has been a great break.

 

“Lauren told me to invite you to the New Years Eve party at hers.”

 

“Really? I’ll be there then.” Dinah nods.

 

Camila moves to one edge of the pool and begins a butterfly. It’s her least favorite, but practice makes perfect. She focuses on her form, adjusting her arms and legs to fit her mental image of what it’s supposed to look like. She reaches the other end of the pool, stopping to take a breath.

 

“You’re getting pretty good at that.” Camila doesn’t know if it’s the water in her ears or what, but that’s not Dinah’s voice. She opens her eyes and turns her head to the left to see Lauren standing at the other end of the pool. She smiles instantly,

 

She tucks her legs against the solid cement of the pool and pushes off, freestyling to the other end as quickly as she can.

 

“Ayyo, L-dawg!” Dinah says to Lauren once she spots her.

 

“What’s up?” Lauren responds back.

 

“Just doing some laps with Mila here. What time is it?”

 

“Uhm, about two-thirty.”

 

“Shit, I’ve got to go.” Dinah rushes out of the water waving to the both of them muttering something about babysitting under her breath.

 

“She’s an interesting one.”

 

“You learn to love her.”

 

“I bet.” Lauren holds the towel out for Camila.

 

“What’re you doing here?” Camila says, leaning in to press a kiss to Lauren’s cheek. They walk towards the locker room.

 

“I stopped by your house and your mom said you’d probably be here.”

 

“Miss me that much, Jauregui?” Camila says, shamelessly slipping the one piece off, Lauren turning around, face flushed, almost immediately.

 

“I figured it’s been a day since I’ve seen you and that’s a bit too long.” Lauren thinks back to the miserable Thursday she had. She spent the day playing video games with Chris and trying to cook with her mom, but she fails horribly at cooking.

 

“You can turn back around now.” Lauren does so, spinning on her heel and turning to face her friend. It irks her a bit that Camila isn’t her girlfriend yet, no actually it beyond irks her. That’s what she spent the latter part of yesterday thinking about.

 

They both walk out the doors, each taking their own cars, agreeing to meet back at Camila’s house so she could change and they could hang out there for a bit.

 

“Lauren!” Sofi says when she sees the cheerleader entering the home.

 

“Hey, cutie.” Camila pouts a bit at that, but finding the interaction between the two too adorable.

 

“What’re you-----” Sofi coughs, deep and rough, too apparent to Lauren that that is entirely unnatural. Camila rushes to her little sister, worrying covering her features. She grabs a tissue for Sofi and asks Lauren to grab a water from the kitchen.

 

When Lauren gets back Camila’s kneeling in front of Sofi, who’s sitting on the couch still, tissue covering her mouth. Lauren frowns and hands the water over to Camila to give to Sofi.

 

Lauren doesn’t say a word, she just sits beside Camila, listening as Camila softly tells Sofi to take it easy, to tell her or mami if anything hurts again or if she doesn’t feel like she’s recovering. Sofi just nods, tears in her eyes and it absolutely _breaks_ Lauren’s heart.

 

She’s been caught up in everything with Camila, as much as she knows she isn’t all that selfish, it does register to her that she can’t do anything for Sofi either. She can just be there as support for the Cabello family and that in itself breaks her. Lauren does things and she helps people, she isn’t one to sit around and wait for things to happen and there it is _again_. She feels a bit helpless when it comes to the Cabello sisters. Sofi’s life is out of her control and she told Camila she wanted to ‘woo’ her and take her on dates and she hasn’t asked her to be her girlfriend----and it strikes her.

 

Life is too short.

 

Life is too short for mishaps and grudges and things that make people unhappy. Life is too short to care about things she shouldn’t care about and not doing things she wants to do. Life is too short and she feels like she’s wasting time if she isn’t doing what she loves.

 

That’s it isn’t it? Some sort of discovery that’s supposed to awaken something in her and encourage her to do everything in life she’s ever dreamed off. But no, she’s still here in this very moment with Camila beside her and Sofia in front of them, worry etched into their faces.

 

She’s lost in thought and she doesn’t know how exactly she got up to Camila’s room sitting on the girl’s bed.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

“Mhm, I should be asking you though.” Lauren responds.

 

“I’m fine, it’s normal for her to have that, but it just hasn’t happened like that in a while and it caught me off guard.” Lauren nods, not knowing what to say. Instead she lays down, waiting for Camila to change and join her.

 

“Ask me something.” Camila demands as she lays down, parallel to Lauren’s body.

 

“Why do you like reading?”

 

“Why do you like singing?”

 

“Hey, you’re the one who asked me to ask you something so don’t be snarky about it.” Lauren responded, a clear smile on her face.

 

“I like it because it’s just a different place.”

 

“How so?”

 

“It’s like how I feel about swimming, but it’s been there longer. I pick up a book and that’s it. It’s flipping through pages of an entire world that someone else has built and I am a visitor. That’s a _relief_.” Camila shifts to her side, all too aware of the close proximity and decides quickly that she misses Lauren’s eyes. So, she uses her right hand to gently grasp Lauren’s chin and turns the cheerleaders face so that she’s looking at her and Lauren’s body follows. Their body’s facing one another, Lauren links their feet together. _Intimate_.

 

“More?” Lauren urges.

 

“I don’t know. With everything with Sofi it just made things easier. I didn’t need anyone if I could just get away for three or four hundred pages.” Lauren only nods, not sharing the same exact passion as Camila, but understanding the need to just get away.

 

“I suppose your favorite place is the library then?” It’s more of a statement than a question and Lauren thinks that it’s more than just passion that she can hear in Camila’s voice. She can’t place her finger on it, but it’s there and it’s---”Well, I’ve never really thought about it being a favorite place. I go to the pool to swim and clear my mind, to focus really. The library.... I don’t know how to describe it.” Lauren’s thoughts cut off from her previous line of thought once Camila interrupts, but tucks it away to think about later.

 

“My turn.” Camila looks at Lauren, green eyes clouded over by what Camila wants to say is fondness, but could easily something much different. She thinks about Lauren and herself and she’s got about a billion questions, but can’t voice them all.

 

“Do you still want to sing like you did before?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Like, go big, be big, all that stuff.”

 

“I guess so. I think it’s more practical to have a solid job, but I don’t---” Lauren furrows her eyes at that because that’s really stupid. She literally was just thinking about how life’s too short to not do what she loves. “I think I do, yeah. At least write songs I think.” Lauren can’t resist it then, because Camila’s lips are quirked up into a small half smile and she wants to kiss her so she does.

 

She’s pulling away not even a second later and continues, amused at Camila’s flushed face. “I don’t want to think I’m good enough, but maybe I am.”

 

“I think you are.”

 

“You haven’t listened to anything I’ve written.”

 

“I don’t need to. I know you. I know your brain, it’s got to be brilliant.” Lauren just---she just gaps at that because Camila surprises her a lot and earlier it was the way she thought about reading and now it’s this and she wants to just---kiss her? No, not just that, she just wants to give Camila everything. That mind that she’s allowed to see is more than anything she could ever place into words or melodies and she’s in so deep.

 

“Your turn.” Lauren pushes those thoughts away and think to what to ask the girl next. She wants to know everything; “What do you want to do when you’re older than?”

 

“Write.” It’s simple and Camila is smiling at her again and fuck. She kisses her again, full on the lips, hand on the back of the other girls neck. It lasts longer this time and really it’s just the pressure of her lips on Camila’s, but it’s a kiss and she won’t ever get tired of that. She’s pulling away, but Camila’s pulling her back, turning her head and that’s when Lauren disconnects their lips and just has to lay on her back and take in a breath because kissing Camila is intoxicating and she wants to finish this conversation.

 

She doesn’t know where the self control came from, but it’s her curiosity that obviously beats her libido this time.

 

“Write?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Create those stories those authors did?” Camila shakes her head no.

 

"Writing is like"---she cuts off only to try and grasp onto the edges of her thoughts. To pull them down for the other girl to hear---"like a piece of your soul being barred upon the paper for other to judge. As is any form of art, really."

 

And Lauren’s done with being stunned because that’s just.... it’s profound in a way no seventeen year old girl should know, but Camila does and she wonders what on Earth Camila’s written and what about her she’s just--- ** _speechless_**.

 

“That probably sounds stupid.” Lauren shakes her head no furiously, rolling over and on top of Camila without a second thought. Straddling the girl at her hips and looking fiercely into the brown eyes she’s sure she’s fallen for.

 

“No, don’t ever say that again. Just no, okay?” Lauren says, finger pointed at Camila’s face, practically pressing on her nose.

 

“You---” She takes a breath. “It’s not stupid, at all. It incredible. You just said exactly how I’m sure every artist feels and how I feel about writing music. It’s like, you’re anchoring a piece of you for others to hold onto and it’s just not stupid at all.” Lauren’s sure she’s expelled all of her oxygen into that stream of thought and before she can grasp for another breath Camila’s leaning up and kissing her; Lauren’s not even fighting it because this position is perfect.

 

She can feel Camila’s chest expanding and she can feel, acutely, the way Camila’s fingers are leaving marks on her side from grabbing a little too hard and Lauren doesn’t even care because suddenly Camila’s tongue is in her mouth and she swears the moan isn’t her’s.

 

Camila can feel Lauren’s body arching into hers, their chests touching and the lack of oxygen burns her lungs, but pulling away is her last option right now. It’s hot and it’s stifling and she’s never felt any heat like this. She wants to compare it to the cool of the water that surrounds her when she swims, but she can’t because Lauren’s still moaning as she’s kissing her, exploring and she pulls away, eyes shut tight, gasping for air.

 

“Well, _fuck_.” And Camila wants to resume kissing Lauren again because the expletive that just slipped out of Lauren’s mouth shot right to her core and she’s absolutely never felt that before.

 

Lauren slips off her lap, making space between them. They’re completely flustered. And it’s Lauren’s messy hair and slightly disheveled shirt that makes Camila smirk.

 

\--------------------

**Saturday, December 29th 2013**

 

“Where are you taking me?”

 

“Can you just hush and pretend to be compliant.”

 

“No!”

 

“We’re here.”

 

Camila looks back ahead; “The Library?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Why?”

 

Lauren looks at the other girl, smiling at the confusion all over the other girls face. She gets out of the car and goes to open Camila’s door, trying to be charming, but failing when Camila gets out instead of waiting. “Let’s go.”

 

“What are we doing here?” Lauren doesn’t answer Camila, just keeps walking in. She slaved all night over the phone with Normani about this and she will not allow the curiosity that Camila has right now, ruin it.

 

She leads Camila to the librarian and tells Camila to ask for a list and as soon as Camila turns around to do as Lauren says Lauren’s disappearing behind the shelves, going to the goal of this all.

 

Camila receives the note with a smile. It’s a list of dewey decimals corresponding to books. She knows the first by heart, The Great Gatsby. She goes to the corresponding row and pulls the first book there out, noticing the post it that’s rested on a certain page with an arrow; she smiles, knowing this quote all too well. _“It was the kind of voice that the ear follows up and down, as if each speech is an arrangement of notes that will never be played again.”_ She grabs the book and moves on to the next set of decimals.

 

The Count of Monte Cristo is next. She flips it open in the same way, _“Ah, lips that say one thing, while the heart thinks another.”_ She smiles at the words, collecting that book in her hands as well, moving onto the next one.

 

She continues on like that for three more books, collecting them as she goes. She’s in awe by the end of it because these are quotes that mean something and that Lauren found and put thought into and they’re just right.

 

She’s just plucked the last book out of it’s place and tucks it under her arm, but as she turns she finds Lauren, leaning against the bookshelf at the end in the most cliched way and she’s got this secret smile on her face and that’s the only way Camila can describe it.

 

“I’ve got one more note.” Lauren says, whispering it aware of their setting.

 

“Oh?” Camila says, walking up to Lauren, suppressing the smile that’s threatening to take over her entire face because this is just romantic and Lauren did it right.

 

“Where is it?”

 

“Right here.” Lauren hands Camila one last note, folded in fours. Camila grasps it, and opens it slowly, not sure where this would go or what this is about, hoping though, that it means that this is the start of a lot of things.

 

> _‘I can’t sum it all up, but I hope those quotes help. I can’t find precisely what to say to make this very much real and not at all cliche, but I really just need you to be mine. Not in possession, but in a different way. I need you to have me as much as I have you. I need things to be solid because I don’t want to waste time without you._
> 
> _Yesterday, you said that writing is like a piece of your soul being barred onto paper. I thought about it all of last night and I know that that’s true. I know that it’s intimate and I don’t know if you know this but I find your mind beautiful._
> 
> _I find a lot of you beautiful._
> 
> _I don’t know that I have so much to offer, but I know that I’m already falling for you. I can’t----I’m being all too honest here, Camz, but only for you---I can’t go forward without you knowing that I’m already yours._
> 
> _We’re young, but it doesn’t matter. This is our story to write.'_

 

It doesn’t end in a question. It doesn’t end with a proposition at all. It’s an admission and that’s what Camila understands. This is Lauren pouring her heart out for Camila and Camila wants to be the one to reciprocate. So, despite the lack of a question, she looks at Lauren, green eyes full of worry, full of nervous anxiety, and smiles. She smiles and she nods as if to say that ‘yes, this is it, this is okay.’

 

She steps forward, closing the space between them, one hand on Lauren’s chest, one hand on her side, books long gone from her mind, and kisses her forehead. She does so as a sign of intimacy, of reassurance. Romance and passion can come later, right now is meant for simplicity.

 

She knows Lauren’s smiling because they’re on the same page, excuse the ridiculous amount of irony.

 

“You’re my girlfriend.” Is all she says before tugging Lauren back outside the library and into the cold Pennsylvania December.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys so did you like that? idk man pls give me feedback? heartsbeattho on tumblr
> 
> Okay so i have a huge like writing crush on camrenfics because her fics are just so goood go read if you haven't because reason to fight is going to be updated soon and it's just so fucking good so shout out to N
> 
> Megs, I don't know if it's even okay to call you megs but if you're reading this thanks so much for saying that changing tides was your favorite one shot, it means a lot because it was one of the first camren fics i did and i was really really proud of it. 
> 
> Elena, thanks for being my inspiration and loving me and happy almost ten months dork.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

**Monday, December 31th 2013**

 

“Stop messing around.”

 

“Chris. Stop messing around!” Lauren yells again, not willing to get up from her comfortable spot on her bedroom floor, but not at all in a tolerating mood. He slams the door shut before scurrying off.

 

“He’s kinda cute, how old is he again?” Mani says suggestively, sticking her tongue out as Lauren slaps her arm. “That’s so gross, stick with Arin.”

 

“That boy.” Normani rolls her eyes at the thought of Arin.

 

“What, what happened?”

 

“Nothing, really.”

 

“And, what’s wrong with that?” Lauren raises her eyebrows incredulously at her best friend. Nothing really seems like a good thing.

 

“That’s just it! He’s not doing anything.” Lauren doesn’t catch on to what she’s saying until Normani rolls her eyes at her. “Oh, shit! He’s not like doing it?”

 

“Yesss!” Normani literally rolls over and lays flat on her stomach on the carpeted part of Lauren’s floor. Lauren only laughs at that because despite her and Camila’s fairly new relationship, there hasn’t been a lack of....well, action.

 

“Stop laughing at me or I’ll go after your brother.”

 

“Ew, stop.”

 

“You’re the one laughing at my non-existent sex life.”

 

“Have you like been kissing and stuff?”

 

“Yes, a lot.”

 

“Well...” Lauren doesn’t know how to talk about this because her and Normani have never been shy and Camila isn’t Lauren’s first girl. Sex is an open topic and it’s never been about being a slut or sleeping around.

 

“Shut up, I bet you’re getting it in with Camila.” Normani laughs when Lauren blushes furiously, seeing her best friend embarrassed or whatever about sex has never happened before.

 

“Anyways, how’re you guys?”

 

“It’s been good, I mean we just got together...” She trails off, leaning against the edge of her bed, toes digging into the carpet.

 

“And?” Normani urges on.

 

“And it’s been great.”

 

“Is she coming tonight?”

 

“Who isn’t coming tonight?” Lauren questions. This year her house was the place to be. Parents and teenagers were all welcomed into the Jauregui household and the Cabello’s were no exception.

 

“Does everyone know?”

 

“Well, mostly? All of the people who need to know do.”

 

“Are you guys going to like-- be together at school?”

 

“What’s with all the questions?” Lauren shoots back, not annoyed, but rather embarrassed at the un-welcomed attention.

 

“It’s just funny, I haven’t really seen you date anybody since Sam. That didn’t end well and I’m just happy you’re happy.”

 

“I’m happy Arin makes you happy.”

 

“Tell him to stop being such a prude.”

 

“Will do.” Lauren smiles.

 

\----------------------

 

“Holy crap this is a lot of people.” Dinah yells to Camila over the loud chatter.

 

“I know!” Camila says, eyes scanning over the medium sized crowd in the living room of the Jauregui household, she turns to look at Dinah when the girl doesn’t respond only to see her walking over to some guy. She laughs and shakes her head, sighing before diving into the crowd.

 

She wanders around, looking for the familiar green eyes she’s come to familiarize herself with. “Camila!” Camila turns around from her spot at the island in the kitchen to see Taylor Jauregui.

 

“Hey!” Camila says back, giving the younger girl a hug.

 

“Looking for my sister?”

 

“Mhm.”

 

“She’s around back.” Camila says thanks before rushing outside, a little more eager than she figures she should be but as she’s walking out the back deck and down the stairs, but as she’s calling out Lauren’s name when shes spots her she’s literally falling down the last three steps and she’s so completely embarrassed she wishes there was a hole right next to her that she could crawl into.

 

“Oh my god!” Lauren literally sprints across her backyard to Camila and helps her girlfriend up. _Girlfriend_. She smiles and laughs at the flushed face swimmer, bending down to pick her up.

 

“Quite an entrance.”

 

“Shut up.” Camila huffs out, hugging Lauren tight and burying her face into the girl’s neck, not wanting to see if anyone was paying them attention.

 

“Hey, c’mon babe.” Lauren whispers just for Camila to hear. She laughs when Camila ‘hmmphs’ into her neck and walks them inside.

 

“I missed you.” Lauren says once they’re in her room, prying eyes aside.

 

“I missed you too.” Camila mumbles, leaning back to smile at the older girl.

 

She leans in to kiss Lauren, a small peck to say hello, but as she’s pulling away Lauren’s leaning into it and they’re really kissing now. Before she knows what’s happening, they’re laying on the bed, Camila on top, and they’ve done this non-stop for the past few days, but that doesn’t make it any less real, any less _new_.

 

Camila’s straddling Lauren’s hips and when Lauren does that thing, that thing when she grasps Camila’s hip and her fingers are pressing marks into the girl’s skin underneath her loose dress shirt and she’s _biting_ Camila’s lower lip, well, Camila’s _moaning_.

 

Lauren swears it hasn’t even been ten minutes, she’d swear it and it’s ten times hotter, no a hundred times hotter than it was when they first got in here. Camila suddenly gets what people mean by teenage hormones.

 

When Lauren does it again, when she runs her fingers up underneath Camila’s shirt and she’s tracing the path of Camila’s spine, Camila does something Lauren’s never seen her do before. She _arches_ , her back flexes upwards and her lips are off Lauren’s and her mouth is open in a silent moan and that’s just so fucking _hot_ to her. So she immediately attaches her lips to Camila’s neck. She’s finding that spot she discovered yesterday, the one that made Camila moan out like before. Once she does, Camila’s body is tense with the frustration she’s feeling and she’s so acutely aware of how hot she feels and how her clothes are sticking to her skin. She’s aware of Lauren’s fingers, the ones that are grasping at her neck and the other set, still running up and down her back. “ _Fuck_.”

 

She’s trying to back away now, trying to create some distance because she can hear Lauren panting into her ear, out of breath and when she feels Lauren’s breath, when she can feel her _girlfriend’s_ exhales more than she can hear them it shoots right to her core and this, _this_. It’s something she’s never felt before and she doesn’t know what to do with it except that she wants Lauren to keep touching her.

 

“Hey! Laur, did you---” Camila literally lets her weight fall on Lauren then she's digging her face into the girl’s neck because Normani Hamilton is standing right at the doorway and she does not want to see her face right now.

 

“Fuck Normani!” Lauren huffs out. She sees her best friend standing at the doorway with her boyfriend.

 

“Why can’t you do that with me?” Normani says as she turns to Arin who’s slightly behind her, peeking in at the sight.

 

“Oh, my god! Get out!” Lauren yells. She waits for the door to click shut, hearing Normani laughing outside of her door.

 

“Worst timing.” Lauren says.

 

“Mhm.” Camila nods against Lauren’s chest.

 

“We should get downstairs.” Camila utters after a few moments of silence.

 

\-------------------

 

“The countdown starts in three minutes!” Chris yells out. People begin to gather inside now, watching the large screen that’s turned to the the news channel so that they can watch the ball drop when the time comes.

 

“Look at Sofi.” Lauren points to the younger Cabello, directing her girlfriend’s attention there.

 

“I’m glad she stayed up long enough for this.” Camila smiles, and Lauren wants to describe it as soft because that’s what it is. “I’m glad you all could make it.”

 

“Me too. But, I think our parents have been talking about us all night.”

 

“I don’t doubt it. I’m pretty sure that they’re going to enforce an open door policy.”

 

“That’s not okay.”

 

“Well, your mom’s always at home and my parents are always out so...” Lauren trails off, winking at her girlfriend. Normani and Arin are to the left of them and Dinah has found a boy that Lauren’s sure she’s seen around before. She shrugs before grounding herself and finding Camila’s hand and tugging her into her body.

 

“Let’s do this right?” She smiles, turning Camila around so that they’re face to face. The countdown begins and sure enough, as they get down to _10, 9, 8_ Camila’s leaning in to kiss Lauren, eyes shut tight and focusing on this moment.

 

Time’s mattered. Time always matters. Camila is always aware of what time it is and how she needs to make the best of it because her sister is across the room laughing on her father’s shoulders and Sofi’s time is limited. She should waste hers.

 

But Lauren’s been different for Camila. She refuses to place a time on it because maybe Lauren’s the exception. She remembers the words that her girlfriend wrote; “We’re young, but it doesn’t matter. This is our story to write.” It’s more true than she’s ever known and this moment, this place with Lauren, kissing her now is suspended and it doesn’t matter that the seconds are shaving off into the New Year because she can’t hear it. She can’t hear it over her pounding heart and the way Lauren always presses her hand into her lower back when they’re kissing like this.

 

 _“Happy New Years!”_ Are being thrown around and the two girls remain oblivious to it all. It’s their story. Their turn.

 

\--------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so i've had a very rough few days and i'm not going to bore you with the details but i just wanted to say that
> 
> each and every one of you is special. i know that we all have different lives and we think of ourselves differently, but you're all special. i love you all and i hope you love yourselves too. 
> 
> go read anything by camrenfics and omfg sweet disposition is the most recent fic i've read and yeah props.
> 
> elena, thanks for being around. 
> 
> sorry this chapter is so short the next one they're back at school! please leave me feedback or just tell me about your day or something just come to my inbox


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

**Thursday, January 3rd 2013**

 

Camila nervously places her hands over her head. She stretches the lazy muscles. Today’s their first day back at school. She had an early morning practice that finished about ten minutes and then school and more practice. Coach calls it payback for the time they got off over break.

 

“Dawg, at least we didn’t screw up too much because then she really would’ve killed us.”

“That’s true.” Camila nods in affirmation and grabs her school clothes. She’s really used to having her hair wet during first period and she really doesn’t care how it dries anymore, but she nervously tugs on her blue skinny jeans.

 

 

She doesn’t want anything to change and for the most part, it won’t, but she’s never really not wanted to be in school and right now she’d just like to run away and crawl into her bed and cuddle with Lauren. Her girlfriend.

 

Her girlfriend. She smiles at the thought.

 

“Stop thinking about Lauren.” Ally says as she walks by Camila’s swim locker, teasing her.

 

“Shut up.” Camila shoots back. She tugs on her white button up and frowns a little. She left her jacket at home when she was rushing to get to practice. She tucks the sweats she came to school in into her locker for her after school practice.

 

“First bell rings in like twenty minutes.”

 

“I think I’m going to go grab a hot chocolate really quick from the cafe.” Camila replies back to Jasmine. She walks out of the locker room, and stops by her own locker to place her books there.

 

She has a bit of an idea of where Lauren’s locker might be this year because she remembers seeing her a few times previously and _wow_ it’s really weird to think about the fact that they weren’t even friends a few weeks ago. She shakes her head as if it’ll wash the thoughts out.

 

Camila walks into the cafeteria ordering two hot chocolates and paying the lady with her student ID. She carefully holds the two, aware of the scalding temperature. She focuses so intently that she almost drops them two a few times.

 

She walks to the general area of the lockers area, stopping to look at the clock, ten minutes, she hopes Lauren’s in a bit early.

 

When she turns the corner she finds that Lauren is actually at her locker, back facing her, she walks forward and as she approaches Lauren she smiles. Her girlfriend’s in a skirt (Camila really wants to roll her eyes because it’s fucking winter, but she won’t because Lauren’s legs).

 

“Hi.” Camila says, a few feet away from Lauren to make sure that Lauren doesn’t spin around and knock everything over.

 

“Hey!” Lauren turns and smiles, recognizing Camila’s voice immediately. Her smile widens when she sees the extra cup in Camila’s hand. She grabs it gratefully and pecks Camila on the lips without thinking. As she’s pulling away she hesitates, forgetting where they are.

 

“I'm sorry.” She says immediately.

 

“Don’t be.”

 

“Really?” Camila nods, smiling. She can’t give up those small things for anyone. Especially when it feels that great and she’s sure that stopping those things for their eight hour school days will more than likely kill her.

 

“Yeah.” she sets their cups down on the bottom of her locker, turning to hug her girlfriend. Girlfriend. The word is still so fucking new to her, but this is great.

 

Camila hugs her, arms wrapped around her torso and Lauren leans in to rest her forehead on Camila’s shoulder.

 

“Can we just go home?” It’s muffled by her shoulder, but Camila gets it and she can only laugh at her girlfriend.

 

“No, we have school, unfortunately.”

 

“I don’t wanna.” Camila laughs and Lauren smiles because they’re being such children right now, but it doesn’t matter. Lauren feels giddy and childish and that’s all she wants to feel.

 

“Why don’t we have classes together?”

 

“Because we hated each other before.”

 

“I never hated you.” Lauren stands up straight, hands still wrapped around Camila.

 

“Good, because I don’t think I could ever hate you.”

 

The bell rings and students around them begin to rush to their classes.

 

Lauren stands there, Camila’s fingers still pressed at her waist. She doesn’t make the first move and neither does Camila. Really she doesn’t make to move at all. She doesn’t want to remove herself from this spot, she’d much rather stay here with Camila, looking into brown eyes and just being.

 

So they stay there.

 

They stay there _together_.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it.
> 
> I got tired of writing it to be honest but I kind of let it open so that someone else could continue it (cough Marina cough) or I can come back much later.
> 
> Thanks Marina (marinaandthejulyberries) and Nouf (camrenfics) for being supportive and making me fall more in love with writing. Life is filled with a lot of things, but finding friends through shared passions is incredible.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

**Tuesday, January 15th 2013**

 

“Why is everyone _already_  talking about prom?” Dinah mumbles to Camila as they sit on the bleachers beside the pool.

 

“I don’t know, I don’t even know how prom works.” Camila replies, intent on staring at the clock as a few of the sophomores swim the butterfly.

 

“What do you mean you don’t know how it works.” Dinah questions back, her face almost agape.

 

“Like is it seniors only or what?”

 

“We have a junior prom if that’s what you mean.” Dinah says, waiting before continuing on with the breakdown of ‘prom.’ “It’s not on the same day as senior prom so that seniors can ask juniors and vice versa.”

 

“Were you planning on going?” Camila asks curiously. She had never even attended homecoming in her years at Madison High, refusing to partake in any social activity outside of swimming.

 

“I am. I know this guy is planning to ask, he’s a junior.” Dinah smiles at the thought of Siope.

 

“Wait.” Camila abruptly turns her head to Dinah, grabbing her arm.

 

“I have to figure out a way to ask Lauren!” Camila’s eyes are comically wide and Dinah wants to laugh at her friend’s obliviousness.

 

“No shit you do. Although, I think everyone’s aware that both of you are off the market and prom isn’t really till May.”

 

“I guess I can wait till like March then?” Camila asks, clearly trying to get approval from her friend. She smiles when Dinah nods.

 

“Get your butts back in the pool or I’ll get Matthew to come throw you in.” Ally says coming around the corner with Matt, the senior diver.

 

Camila grins before fast walking to the edge of the pool and cannonballing in.

 

\-------------------

 

“What’re you so giddy about?” Lauren mumbles into her girlfriend’s neck.

 

“This isn’t giddy, Jauregui.” Camila replies with a wide smile on her face.

 

“Then what is, Cabello?” The older girl lifts her head from it’s position, using her elbows to hold her over Camila’s own body, hair swept to the side although a bit messy from their previous activities.

 

“Y’know you’re really very pretty.” Camila opts to say instead. Bruised lips, a habit that Camila’s formed (she just can’t help the way Lauren sounds after she bites her lower lip in the slightest) and her hair, the natural curls flowing and those hazel eyes. She can’t decide if they’re green or grey or a color that can’t be put into a single word. She’ll revisit that thought later, in the solitude of her own room, notebook in hand.

 

“Don’t avoid the topic at hand.” Lauren’s always so sassy after makeouts. Camila enjoys their banter.

 

“What was the topic again? I got lost in your eyes.” She says it with the fullest damn smile on her face because she knows how cheesy it is and Lauren’s almost cringing at it, but they do this a lot. They try to outdo one another when it comes to how _sweet_ they can be.

 

“You’re giddy.” Lauren states, matter of fact.

 

“Oh, no. This face wasn’t due to giddiness. It was because my _girlfriend_  is going to states with the rest of her team.” It’s a proud smile and Lauren wants to slap the younger girl because she didn’t think her face could _hurt_  from smiling this much.

 

Camila leans up to kiss those bruised lips once again, intending a peck, but Lauren’s hand curves around the base of her neck, gently. She holds her there.

 

This kiss is much softer than the previous ones.

 

Lauren is the one to pull away, eyes still shut, smile ghosting her lips. (Truly, Camila has spent the past two weeks that they’ve been together, she forgets that it’s only been two weeks, trying to write everything down)

 

“I’m proud of you too, you know that right?” Lauren supplements a moment later.

 

“It’s cause I’m a rank above you and you can’t stand it.” The brown eyed girl replies within a second. She’s being cheeky and Lauren loves that those moment everyone speaks about, she has with Camila. They don’t always have to be so serious, they can be the teenagers they are.

 

“My masterplan is actually working though, so just you wait.” Lauren replies, dropping her elbows so that she’s back to resting her head on Camila’s collarbone. She pecks the skin there. She smiles at the red--then pink ident left in the girl’s skin. It’s still flushed from earlier.

 

“What masterplan?”

 

“The one that was like, step one: seduce the one in the top rank, which by the way I totally checked off.” She kisses Camila’s skin and sucks in the slightest to prove her point. She’s tempted to continue when she hears the slight gasp her girlfriend makes, but speaks again, “Step two: go over to her house constantly and distract her from studying and being productive, not quite checked off, but it’s getting there.” Lauren mumbles, chin resting on the skin beneath her to smirk at Camila.

 

“That’s pretty devious, Lolo.” Camila replies, eyes still shut.

 

“Is it? I hadn’t really noticed.”

 

“Shut up, babe.” Camila sits up enough that Lauren is forced to move, a groan coming out of her mouth when she does.

 

“You stay on that side of the bed.” Camila points at the foot of the bed.

 

“No.”

 

“You were being a tease anyways. Also, Calc and Lit are more important.” She sticks her tongue out at the eldest Jauregui, laughing as soon as Lauren pouts. “How is it that you go from sexy to cute in .02 seconds?”

 

“All part of the plan, baby.” Lauren says. She pauses a second to stare at Camila, mussed hair and those stupid (by stupid she totally means heart wrenching, soul sucking, overwhelmingly beautiful) eyes. “Can we just make out now?”

 

Camila laughs at Lauren’s question and just nods.

 

Lauren sits in Camila’s lap, legs folded around the younger girls abdomen and kisses her.

 

The younger girl has gotten really really used to all of this. Since they’ve been back at school they’ve taken turns going to one another’s homes and running to the bedroom to ‘study.’ Camila, who was the less ‘experience’ between the two, turned out to be a fucking _natural_.

 

Which honestly just meant that Lauren was screwed.

 

It would’ve seemed like Lauren was in control most of the time, she was usually on top of Camila or the one making the advances, but Lauren was _weak_. Camila has made her knees buckle--- that time in the locker room after swim practice comes to mind, it was embarrassing, but Camila just pushed her harder against the lockers and--- “Fuck.”

 

Camila just giggles and trails her lips down Lauren’s jaw and to that spot she had just discovered a few days ago beneath Lauren’s ear. She nips and teases until she can hear Lauren’s pants and feels her stomach clenching at the way her girlfriend’s hips are starting to move against her.

 

“Karla Camila Cabello I’m coming upstairs and Lauren better not be on you!” Lauren practically jumps of Camila then, hearing Sinu’s voice booming from the bottom of the steps.

 

“Sí, mamá! Estamos estudiando!” Camila’s voice is just as loud and she’s smirking and Lauren’s really about to smack her girlfriend.

 

\-------------------

 

**Friday, January 18th 2013**

 

“Normani Kordei.”

 

“Dinah Jane Hansen.”

 

“Ally!” The eldest girl sticks her hand up as if it were roll call.

 

“What do you want, DJ?” Normani rolls her eyes at the two swimmers.

 

“Just wondering when the competition was this weekend?” Ally asks, that ever present smile making Normani smile as well.

 

“It’s actually like at Penn State since their facilities are the best and so it’ll be a good few hours ride away. We don’t hit the floor till around 2pm though.”

 

“Are you excited?” Ally asks, energetically. She spots Camila and Lauren over Normani’s shoulder. Waving excitedly, the other two girls turn their attention to the couple approaching.

 

“Hey!” Camila mumbles as she continues to play with her phone.

 

“What’s up?” Lauren adds.

 

“States this weekend!” Normani says, high-fiving Lauren.

 

“Are you guys planning to come?” Normani asks the group.

 

“Who isn’t planning to attend?” Camila laughs, coach had made it mandatory for them to all attend the competition, the school announcements have only really been about it as well. T-shirts have been sold and there are even buses preparing to take underclassman.

 

“Ladies!” Troy walks over, wrapping his arms around his petite girlfriend, kissing her cheek.

 

“Why do we always congregate in the middle of the hallway, in a few minutes the entirety of Madison High will be in this conversation.” Dinah adds in, laughing at the hurt look Troy gives her.

 

“Nothing meant to her you, T-dawg.” He smiles in content.

 

“Troy, have you seen---” Sam cuts off as he takes a look at the group, eyes falling on Lauren’s immediately.

 

“Beat it, dude.”

 

“What? I can’t hang around anymore?” He hasn’t stopped looking at the cheerleader, whose hand has unconsciously wrapped around Camila’s waist.

 

“Fine, whatever.” He smiles at Troy and blows Lauren a kiss before slowly backing away, blue eyes still piercing Lauren’s own. He gazes at Lauren’s hand around Camila’s waist and pauses in his step.

 

“Consider my proposal why don’t you, Laur?” He smirks before turning around and walking away. Lauren’s lips set into a frown and Camila’s confusion is evident.

 

“What’s he talking about, babe?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hi hi, well, i'm adding more to this story and it's going to be fun to continue writing, message me and let me know if you have any high school headcanons etc
> 
> also just come say hi because i miss you guys <3
> 
> thanks nouf and mar for always sticking around! ily guys


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

**Friday, January 18th 2014**

 

"What's he talking about babe?"

 

"He has no idea what he's talking about, actually."

 

"Lauren."

 

"Can we talk about this elsewhere?"

 

"No, we can't." Camila responds.

 

Lauren looks around at their friends and Normani immediately gets the message. She ushers everyone away from the duo. "He offered to take me to senior prom with him, said he'd suit up and be a good guy and stuff. Something about being a power couple again." Lauren finishes, trying to grab Camila's hand and pull her into her own body.

 

"That's something I should know."

 

"It wasn't relevant. He is nothing and never will be. I shot him down and moved on." Lauren defends, trying to get Camila to understand _why_  she didn't say a word.

 

"It's not irrelevant. I thought you'd learn that communication means something in this relationship!" Camila responds, forgetting where she is and how easily she can be heard.

 

"Camila, please. Listen to me?" Lauren tries to catch Camila's gaze, but fails to do so and helplessly ducks her head down till she can see the brown eyes she's so easily falling for.

 

Camila shakes her head and disengages all contact from Lauren before walking away, angry at herself and that stupid kid, Sam.

 

\------------

 

Camila slams the door as she walks into her house, accidentally and immediately regretting it.

 

She tries to calmly walk up her stairs and into her room. Once she's there she finds solitude in her bed, face down into the pillow, screaming in frustration.

 

She closes her eyes tight trying to imagine what Sam and Lauren used to be and what they used to look like together. It infuriates her.

 

She gets up and paces in her room, knowing that this is out of character for herself, but also recognizing that the reason is because she has never dealt with anything like this before. She's never been through jealousy and she's never felt so _weak_.

 

She takes a few slow, deep breathes before deciding to sit down at her desk and write. Lauren will more than likely be over as soon as cheer practice is done, which gives her a little over an hour.

 

Camila opens up one of the journals she's been working her way through and attempts to write her feelings out, just like she always does when bad things happen.

 

She can't find the proper words, her mind is just a flurry of all the things she's upset about and she wants to make it stop---she wants silence and calmness and she wants something beside the rage she feels. She can't even fully describe _why_ she's feeling so angry. Lauren did /nothing/ wrong. Lauren's beautiful. She's beautiful, popular, well loved and adored, she's a cheerleader, she's a role model, she's everything Camila has never understood that she's _wanted_.

 

Flipping through her journal she opens it to the date that she and Lauren had kissed on New Years. She remembers that night vividly, remembers the way Lauren kissed her and the way her eyes sparkled green. She remembers the flutter of Lauren's eyelashes on her face. Reading through her own words she gets lost and is brought back to every instance Lauren's had her _captivated_  in.

 

By the time she's done she wants to smack herself in the face and through herself into a pool of ice cold water because she feels like _such an idiot._

 

She lays down in her bed once again, trying to channel her thoughts into one stream.

 

\------------

 

Camila finds herself awake at nine-thirty that night, not knowing where the time had flown or why in the _hell_ her body decided to fall asleep that day. She frustratingly wipes the sleep from her eyes and walks downstairs, for once too annoyed to eat, but stops misstep as she hears her parents conversing.

 

Conversing with Lauren.

 

She hears laughter and she can't help the instant smile that etches across her face. The swimmer steps down the stairs, but once again slips on the second to last step before falling. _God damn gravity_.

 

The laugher stops immediately and Lauren's rushing over to pick her girlfriend up off the floor as her parents watch on. Camila embarrassingly grabs Lauren's hand and drags her back up the stairs _carefully_  this time and into her room.

 

She slams the door shut and stares at Lauren's green eyes, once again a different shade of green, darker now, through the dark. Even if they're a darker shade they still pierce into Camila's brown and make her feel safe and free all at the same time.

 

The swimmer had figured it out right before falling asleep, after reading her moleskin from front to back and thinking about today and how she had reacted she _knew_ why. The only question is whether or not she was ready to say it and whether or not _now_  was the right time.

 

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you." Lauren says after a few long moments.

 

Camila shakes her head furiously and hugs Lauren tight.

 

“I shouldn’t have reacted like that.” Camila mumbles into Lauren’s shoulder, eager to move on from the mess she could have prevented.

 

“Camz?” Lauren whispers back, leaning her head so that she can see Camila’s eyes through the dark.

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Why did you react like that?” Lauren asks, not wanting to make a big deal out of a situation that Camila was clearly apologetic for already, but needing an answer. They couldn’t prevent things like this from happening repeatedly if they never spoke about it.

 

“Do you trust me?” Camila responds, hoping Lauren says yes.

 

“Of course I do. More than I trust myself usually.” Camila nods, feeling lighter already.

 

“Then trust me with this one? I’ll explain it once I’ve sorted it myself. I promise.” Lauren says okay and Camila isn’t really _lying_  persay. She just needs to get everything done properly. She wants Lauren to know the right way at the right time. Not when she’s just made a big mess of things and when she’s being run down by jealousy.

 

\-----------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long wait i totally got siderailed by the new fic (go check it out cause ily) and now I give you this short (kind of) piece of whateevr; message, kudos, comment? tell me what you're thinking!
> 
> next chapter has the cheer competition and camila's big plan, I promise it'll be longer and a lot more worth it!


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

**Saturday, January 19th 2014**

 

“Get your asses into this damn bus so we can go!” Dinah yells as the last of the freshman get onto the school bus that Madison High has provided so that everyone can attend the Cheerleading Competition.

 

“I don’t want to be late.” Camila rolls her eyes at Dinah, who seems to be more eager than Camila herself.

 

“You know the plan, I just really don’t want any of it to fall apart.”

 

“Remind me in a few years not to let you be my Maid of Honor, God knows you’ll be more of a nervous wreck than I am.”

 

“Rude, we all know I’ll be front and center for you and Jauregui’s wedding.”

 

“Stop nagging then, the bus is moving now, we’ll be there in less than like two hours.” Camila mumbles, closing her eyes to try and sleep the bus ride away. She’s got a lot to do when she gets to UPenn.

 

\------------

 

“Are you nervous?” Alexa shouts to Normani as they all warm up. They’ve got another three or so hours before their turn, but they try to keep their muscles warm by stretching every half hour or so.

 

“I don’t have nerves.” Normani replies, winking at Alexa.

 

“More like she wants to show off.” Lauren laughs at the way Normani tries to punch her in the arm.

 

“How about you, Jauregui?”

 

“What about me?”

 

“Aren’t you nervous?”

 

“To compete?” Lauren replies, not sure what Normani is implying. Sure, it’s the first time in awhile they’ve gone to states and she wants to make sure that they get to Nationals, but cheerleading comes easy to her, she doesn’t usually get nervous.

 

“Sure.”

 

“I mean, not really to compete, but I think Camz has something up her sleeve.”

 

“Like what?” Alexa questions, curious as well.

 

“She’s been hiding something, I have no idea what.” Lauren shrugs as if to say that she doesn't want to speak about it anymore.

 

“Can the next three hours please pass a lot freakin faster?” One of the guys says as they all move towards the bleachers to watch others compete.

 

\------------------

 

“I’m going to run in the back.” Camila mumbles to Dinah as the rest of the students head towards the bleachers to stake out a spot to sit.

 

“Do you need me to go with?”

 

“Nah, it’s fine.” Camila smiles.

 

She moves around, behind the massive platform that the cheerleaders perform on. Camila doesn’t know if she wants to close her eyes and wish herself very far away from this place, mostly because it looks like it came straight out of a Bring It On movie, but also because all the freaking cheerleaders look the same.

 

Frustratingly, she turns around and smacks right into solid---abs.

 

“Hey.” He smiles, blue eyes a stark contrast against his dark brown hair.

 

“Sorry.” Camila squeaks out. “I didn’t mean to run into you.”

 

“If you want you can do it again, I wouldn’t mind.” He smiles, for a second Camila compares it to the white from a teeth whitening commercial, he should really model for one of those commercials.

 

“Timmy.” Timmy sticks his hand out to offer to Camila.

 

“She’s Camila, and she’s taken, Timmy.” Camila turns around to see her girlfriend with that damn charming smile, forget Timmy’s white teeth.

 

“Jauregui. Of course you’d have claim on a beautiful girl.”

 

“Only the best, Timmy.” Lauren winks as she steps beside Camila to hold her hand.

 

“Good luck today.”

 

“We don’t need luck, and if you hadn’t left us we wouldn’t have needed to replace you either.” The older girl responds, smirking at him.

 

“Bye bye.” He says, waving before jogging back to the other green and yellow clad cheerleaders.

 

Camila turns to look at Lauren, smiling as she does so. “How about you try not to wander around anymore. I don’t need any other pretty boys trying to hit on you.”

 

“If I knew hanging around cheerleaders would bring out the jealous side of you I’d have came to all of your competitions a long time ago.”

 

“Don’t push it, Cabello.” Lauren mumbles as she leans in to kiss Camila, who turns her head so that Lauren ends up kissing her cheek instead.

 

“Are you gonna go out there and kick ass?” Camila asks, face still a breathe away from Lauren’s.

 

“I’m a winner at heart.”

 

“Afterwards, I was thinking you could come with me and we could take your car somewhere? Let me drive?” Camila asks.

 

“Does it mean you’ll give me a good luck kiss?” Lauren replies, leaning forward once again, but only in the slightest way, as if to tease Camila.

 

“Mhm.” The younger girl nods minutely.

 

“Okay. Should I tell my mom I’m going to miss dinner?”

 

“Mhm.”

 

“Then where’s my kiss?” She smirks.

 

Camila trails her fingers up to the back of her girlfriend’s neck before she closes the gap between them. Kissing Lauren reminds her of everything she’s really come to love and accept lately, parts of her life that feel so /right/.

 

“We gotta go Laur!” Normani yells.

 

Lauren sticks up her middle finger as she’s still kissing Camila, pulling away she resists the urge to kiss Camila again, but squeezes her hand before waving goodbye and toward the rest of her squad.

 

“Wait.” Camila says, jogging after Lauren. She kisses her one more time, smiling at the older girl’s expression. “You look a bit lovestruck.” Camila says before walking away.

 

\-----------------

 

“Do I need to pour cold water over you?”

 

“Shut up.”

 

“You’re so red.”

 

“Shut up.”

 

“I mean, if I can say so, she was looking really hot.”

 

“Shut up.”

 

“I didn’t realize the pleated skirt went up that high when she was doing those flips.”

 

“I’m going to murder you.” Camila basically growls out.

 

“I’m just saying dawg, your girlfriend is smoking.”

 

“I knoooooow.” Camila whines back. The Minutemen Cheerleaders just walked off the stage and Camila has never been more sure that she’s attracted to one Lauren Jauregui.

 

“Are you gonna grab her after the award show?”

 

“I might need to do that now.” Camila mumbles, aware that she’s still very much affected.

 

“You might as well, if she goes for it I’ll make sure to text you guys what the results are.” Dinah offers, happy to see Camila happy.

 

“You’re the best.” Camila says before walking down the bleachers, not before stumbling a bit and hearing Dinah’s distinct laughter though.

 

She hurries to the same area she had been before and stops as she watches the group of cheerleaders hug and celebrate their near perfect routine. She waits until Lauren’s disengaged from everyone to approach.

 

“I’m so glad someone recorded that.”

 

“Sleeze.” Lauren replies, laughing as Camila just winks.

 

“I was thinking we leave now, and Dinah or Mani could text us when they get the results.” Camila asks, nervously. She plays with the bag strap she has. She carried her duffle to hold her moleskine and a few other things.

 

“Yeah, okay.” Lauren nods, and leaves Camila to say by to everyone first.

 

\-----------------

 

“Where are we going?”

 

“Philly.”

 

“What’s in Philly?”

 

“You’ll see.” Camila says, turning up the music in Lauren’s car as they sing along to the radio.

 

Lauren’s voice is clear and Camila feels a sort of overwhelming happiness that she usually feels when she’s /kissing/ Lauren. It’s a feeling that she isn’t accustomed to, one that she will never really be accustomed to.

 

That’s the thing about love, or what Camila has come to understand about it, is that it’s not meant to be uncomfortable. It seeps into the spaces that Camila has made her own, spaces that she wants to claim as her own, but love pushes through, it slips under doors people thought they had locked and it pushes past the comfort zone people had previously established.

 

That’s okay.

 

Camila realizes now that that’s okay. It’s what she wants to tell Lauren, in one way or another.

 

She pulls up to LOVE park. Her parents had taken her when she was young. She remembers helping Sofi onto the letters.

 

“This is so corny.” Lauren says as soon as Camila finds them street parking.

 

“Corny is my thing.”

 

“That is true.” The older girl says, hopping out of the car. “What are we doing here?”

 

“We’re going to have dinner here.”

 

“Cheesesteaks?”

 

“Only the best for you.”

 

Time passes quickly, and before Camila knows it the cold takes over as the sun goes down and she still hasn’t accomplished everything she came here to do.

 

“Stop zoning out on me, dork.”

 

“Sorry, love.” Camila mumbles, eyes widening.

 

“That’s a new one.”

 

“Oops?” She offers.

 

“I like it, no worries.” Lauren stands up and holds her hand out to Camila.

 

“Lets walk?”  

 

“You know what? Actually don’t answer that, there’s no time for your sass.” Lauren laughs as Camila pouts and places a kiss over it to get a smile instead. “I love this time with you. I know we don’t get it often enough, like get to actually go out since school has been so hectic with sports, but----” Lauren stops to stand in front of her girlfriend.

 

“I really love you.” It doesn’t feel like a solid ton of bricks to Lauren, it feels like weight lifting off her shoulders because the look in Camila’s eyes tells her that that was the right thing to say.

 

“You suck.”

 

“What?”

 

“You stole my thunder, kind of.” Camila says, smacking Lauren’s arm.

 

“I had a feeling you were bringing me here for ulterior motives.”

 

“Here---” Camila shuffles through her little duffel to hand Lauren her moleskine. “flip to the page that’s dog tagged.”

 

Lauren does as she’s told and begins reading the page. /It was a weird feeling, I started realizing that the green in her eyes isn’t always green, but sometimes grey and in the correct light, blue. I started realizing that things were becoming so light and overwhelmingly happy that I couldn’t breathe at night when I thought about losing her. I want to spill my soul onto pages and pages and I want to write in color instead of black and blue because that’s what these words about her deserve. I want her to see all of me, and I’ve never been more terrified and excited at the same time. Less than a month and I’m sure that I’m falling in love. Call me crazy? I’m in love with Lauren Jauregui and I don’t want to stop falling./

 

Camila watches as Lauren’s eyes scan the page, her words and bites her lip nervously. When Lauren lifts her head up the younger girl isn’t sure if she sees a cloudiness akin to tears in those eyes or a haze that takes over when someone is lost.

 

“You---”

 

“I?”

 

“Are you sure?” Lauren asks, gulping.

 

“I wouldn’t be here otherwise.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm really diggin the story so in love like hardcore yo never stop writing 
> 
> i don't know about posting tibh today because i have a flight home in a few hours so yeah, but i'm gonna try and also i need to update remedy and fill a few prompts xoxo kudos comments and reblogs pls?
> 
> shoutout to marina whom i love and nouf who needs to get back into my life and elena who is the love of my life and marissa for being such a bro


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